Wild Places

A minute ago I came across a Facebook post from a friend (thank you) which simply put, is perfect for what I’ve been thinking about this morning.  Isn’t it incredible that one sentence and a painting can have such a deeply moving effect?  It never fails to amaze me how easily we are touched, or inspired, uplifted…and how crucial it is to feel that sense of connection, of belonging that comes from feeling such instant resonance.

Because I was writing, updating and thinking about France, my experiences there and that we’ve opened the September retreat to others…I was again deep into the vibration of being there, of those incredible experiences there, of the insights, revelations in fact, the beauty of sharing good food, places to visit, sensual touch, pleasure consciously explored in nature, communing with trees, flowers…allowing oneself to be touched deeply, profoundly …the sensations … the sensuality of life to be experienced as all experienced on the outside is a reflection of that inside.  In fact one informs the other… and then this sentence, this picture, so evocative of the eternal feminine…my whole being yearns for this…it must be what I am here for, to experience this, to create my reality from such pictures in my mind…

“The mind I love most must have wild places, a tangled orchard where dark damsons drop in the heavy grass, an overgrown little wood, the chance of a snake or two, a pool that nobody fathomed the depth of, and paths threaded with flowers planted by the mind.” ~ Katherine Mansfield

Frederick Carl Frieseke – Nude In Dappled Sunlight

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“Twelfth Night” ~ An Adevoiler Retreat ~ September 2018

 

Lynn Paterson and Peter Choi are delighted to invite you to join them on retreat in France from 3rd September 2018. This Adevoiler retreat is in 2 parts and both English and French will be spoken. You can choose the first week only or choose to join for the second week as well. Due to the close proximity to the event  we’re asking anyone interested to act very quickly.

The inspiration for this retreat is to invite others to join us in continuing our exploration based upon our experience last September, 2017. ​

From exploring the mysteries of the exterior to the mystery of the interior. Exploring the energy of source in nature and exploring the source in the feminine. Allowing Nature to inform us of deep truths about ourselves and the nature of our place, our role, in the world.

A series of exercises will be intermixed with a series of nature and site visits to progressively unveil what is the mystery … what is it that prevents us from seeing beyond the mystery?

In allowing the veil to lift, to dissolve, we allow ourselves to contact the reality through sensation, perception and illusions.  Part of the aim of the exploration is to re-connect our senses to our consciousness to explore pleasures that are sovereign. In this way we give ourselves permission to be and express ourselves.

Together the group will co-create and live a journey of unveiling to see beyond what we see and to touch beyond what we touch…

The first part is from 3-10 September 2018 and we will be re-tracing some of the steps of last year.  Here we will be focusing primarily on the cathedral sites of Chartres and Orleans, the famous gardens at Giverny (I was there in June this year and it’s fabulous.) We also plan to walk the labyrinth at Chartres – labyrinths have long been known as a mysterious gateway to finding deeper truths.

Location – Les Molieires, Île-de-France.  It’s less than an hour to Chartres form here. Accommodation is in shared rooms in a large private home on the edge of a village in the countryside. We anticipate the costs for the first part (3-10 Sept – 7 nights) to be in the region of £70 per night per person to include accommodation, meals and shared car hire. It will be a little less if all places are filled. Both English and French will be spoken and we have a translator. Meals will be simple and wholesome – preparation will be a shared endeavour.

In the second part 11-14 September, 2018, Peter and Lynn invite you to join us as we continue down into the Loire Valley. We will go deeper into the unveiling process with visits around the Loire Valley and giving more time to the indoor work. Visits we intend (not limited to) will include Chateau Chenonceau – a simply stunning chateau on water with its incredible gardens and huge trees it makes for fabulous outing…plus we hope to find ourselves another labyrinth! Also we will have time in nature and space to integrate.

Location – Loire Valley –  As the retreat is a co-creative endeavour we will only book accommodation once we know how many wish to join us. We estimate the costs for the second part (10-14 Sept – 4 nights) will be similar per night per person to the first week. – It’s not possible to attend only the second week.​

General Information

The Retreat is for a maximum of 12 participants and a minimum of 6, plus us two. Open to singles and couples. If you’re interested the first step is to complete the CONTACT FORM  telling us a little about you, adding any questions… and we’ll be in touch very soon.

We suggest reading through the series of articles FRANCE PILGRIMAGES Lynn has written following her experience in France last year as this will give much information through words, and much more through the spaces in-between. It’s a long read so please don’t wait till you’ve read it to book as time is passing quickly!

Please note: this is not a usual facilitator led group – Peter and Lynn are here to share their experiences and skills etc. in a group format because we love to share what fascinates, intrigues and helps us. There is no charge for facilitation; the cost of the retreat is to cover expenses only. The group we create together is to enhance personal sovereignty – not to diminish it. A big part of our aim is to allow personal space, personal expression, and personal experience for each individual – it is much more desirable for all to be themselves…this retreat will be providing space in which we can be ourselves as individuals and as a group. All participants must be comfortable with deeper work and capable of facing their inner issues in a mature and self-responsible manner.

Transport – flights etc. not included. Car hire is suggested on a shared or individual basis (we trust it to work out between the group as bookings progress).  Please ask about travel arrangements – we are delighted to help and don’t want the travel to be a problem for anyone who wants to join us.

Both English and French will be spoken and we have a translator. Meals will be simple and wholesome – preparation will be a shared endeavour. Restricted diets can be self-prepared.

Artwork credit: https://sigu.deviantart.com/art/The-King-of-Elfland-s-Daughter-332697611

Dream Lover

Disco music, dim lighting, the thick cigarette smoke veiling and cocooning me. Sipping a ludicrously expensive gin and tonic I gaze across the nightclub floor at the deejay, willing him to look my way. I know I look gorgeous yet I’m terribly insecure. It works! He quickly comes over to me. I’m shocked and embarrassed; it happened too fast, I’m not ready! I brush him off by pretending he misread the situation. He shrugs and goes away. I’m still shocked that it worked, and so fast! This isn’t something I’ve tried before, tending instead to stay quiet, not flirt even, not wanting to be misread or considered a tease… so no games for me and instead wanting men to understand I’m not a threat, I’m reliable, trustworthy, kind. I feel guilty now – why did I do it? I didn’t even fancy him; I just wanted to prove I could.

Uncomfortable now, I turn away and find myself gazing into the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. My body responds before I’ve even seen his face. He’s young, about 22 I’d guess, with dark blond hair, and very beautiful.

We look, we dance, we smoke and struggle to communicate through our different languages. An hour passes and he wants to walk me back to my hotel, along the beach he says, very romantic under the moon with the sea. My body longing, my emotions surging, my mind says ‘oh right, yes sure, I know what you want and it’s not going to happen coz it will feel cheap, tacky – I will feel used.’ (I also thought about the discomfort of the sand…)

On the way home with the girls now and they tell I should have, thinking I’d said no because of being unfaithful to my boyfriend back home…they said they wouldn’t have told on me. That’s only part of it for me though. I feel a deep regret, and confusion.  Did I make the right decision or should I have taken the chance and gone along with him?  No, I know it would have cheapened, lessened the experience as I thought the physical reality rarely lived up to my imagined one.  With the benefit of hindsight and many years of life, I wonder if I’d have chosen differently had I had some experience of a satisfying, fulfilling sex-life, perhaps I might have not thought that the thought of sex is better than it would be in reality.

Back in the hotel in my rather horrible single bed in the room I am sharing with a girlfriend and her 2 young children in our dismal, creepy old hotel, head spinning from too much alcohol, ears ringing from overly loud music, mind buzzing, wondering if I will manage to fall asleep and if so, will I ever awaken again from the intensely psychic energies of this creepy old place!

I drift off whilst thinking of my Italian Adonis. A moment later I’m immediately awake. He’s stepping into the corridor leading to my room! It’s a long, narrow passage-way and he’s walking slowly towards my door…

My body is responding, fully sexually aroused in mere moments. I’m lying on my back, utterly still, silent, every inch, every part of me intensely focussed on his progress. My body is singing.

He gets closer and closer, my pleasure intensifies with every step he takes. I can barely breathe, all is still, there’s no sound, no space, no time. The air, thick with my expectancy and anticipation, holds me a willing prisoner in my cocoon of pleasure.

Outside my door now, his hand on the handle, turning it. The door opens… I orgasm, not a small orgasm but a huge mega, completely real orgasm like I’ve never orgasmed before. It doesn’t hit the roof; it goes right through it and out of the building, reverberating its celebration for miles into the night. No, not a small orgasm like all I’ve had before through self-stimulation of the clitoris, this was an orgasm to change my life. I never knew how BIG orgasm could be, my whole body involved, the energy massive and unrestricted and not just contained within my body.  And at exactly the same moment I orgasm, I awake, until then I did not know I was dreaming.

In the moment, I realise that I have no resistance, no fear, no self-inflicted limitations;  my body and energy field are as one and I experience nothing but wave upon wave of ecstatic pleasure and there’s nothing to stop it happening.  I sense it like a sphere of shimmering subtle energy emanating from my body and simultaneously returning to me. I sense how it interacts with what it touches.

I lay there afterwards, going over the experience and insights.

OMG that was amazing! Awesome!

Will I be able to do it again?

Now, that’s how sex SHOULD be.

Why can’t I do that when I’m with someone?

Why indeed. At the time I got many insights, not least was that this experience confirmed to me what I had long suspected: my inability to orgasm with a partner was purely psychological and there was nothing physically wrong with me.  As the years passed I also developed many other insights and this experience was fundamental to my own sexual healing journey and also the work with others for theirs.

Another valuable insight I got at the time was that I realised that what I’d thought of as good orgasms up till now were in fact miniscule and puny in comparison. They’d been limited to and caused through physical stimulation. This dream orgasm had been completely touch free. Somehow I knew that the possibilities and implications were huge! Though for some years all I saw was that the reality of sex with another was often much less than the anticipation of it. That fantasy was more enjoyable than fact. But what is real and what is not? Is it not the case that both fantasy and fact can both be extremely enjoyable experiences and why should we put one above the other? Couldn’t we just enjoy both, rather than polarize to one extreme or the other?

The ‘wet dream’ I’d had was not from contrived sexual fantasy; it had happened without my conscious mind choosing it, though I was consciously aware and chose to think about this dream lover before I went to sleep, I had not fantasized about having sex with him.

The way I experienced the ecstatic energy was vastly different in my body. The sensation and awareness of having no resistance to the orgasmic energy was in itself an ecstatic experience and the orgasm added to this. It could equally be the other way around. For me, this raises questions about the nature of energy, of physical being, of interaction. And no touch involved! Purely from the imaginal realms I’d had a highly energized and physical experience.  That alone was mind-blowing.

I was even less satisfied with partnered sex A.D. (After Dream) than I had B.D. It would be some 20 years before I was able to feel comfortable enough to relax and ‘achieve’ orgasm with a partner through intercourse. That’s quite sad of course, yet it was also this situation that contributed to my desire to help others with sexuality issues and also of course to continue exploring for myself too.  My reality at the time was that though I had a longing for more sexual satisfaction, it wasn’t really centre stage in my life and only once in while would it creep in from the edges of my mind.  I simply believed that this was just the way it was for me.  So I’d settle for less, unable to even consider talking to my partners or seeking help, hoping things would change on their own or I’d meet someone with whom everything would be perfect.  This fear of talking to another about sex also gave me good skills to make others feel comfortable talking to me about their sexual issues and to listen without judgment.

Nowadays I continue to develop myself and grow in spiritual awareness through exploring my sexuality and looking back on my younger self I feel deep compassion for her for all the confusion, suffering and misunderstanding she went through.

© Lynn Paterson 2018

Tantric Sex… with an Orchid?

I’m a very visual person, especially when it comes to media like movies or images on the computer. I find hours can disappear fast as water down the plug-hole as I become totally immersed in looking through photos and artwork on the internet. Ask me to find an image on a theme I like and I’m kept entertained for hours, especially if it’s nature! That’s what happened when I had decided I needed a new website for my tantra work, One Heart Tantra. I was currently using a theme of a woman holding a red rose but wanted a change whilst still using a floral theme. I had settled on Orchids as my main theme, as I find them so exquisitely beautiful.

I LOVE nature and am constantly inspired by what I see, feel and interact with, whether that be trees, rocks, pieces of dead wood, stones, plants, water, animals, insects and of course, flowers. My task for the site was to find several orchid pictures. I’d already located the main picture, but I needed these for the 8-10 individual pages on the website.

So here I was, trawling through Google searches for Orchid photographs for hours over a three-day period. I knew it was obsessive behaviour; I could have been far more efficient with my time but I was totally hooked on these orchids. Continue reading

Sexual or Spiritual? ~ Dissolving the Barriers of the Mind.

“If your flame of awareness is burning bright, you will know that sex is not just sex. Sex is the outermost layer; deep inside is love, and even deeper is prayer, and deepest is God himself. Sex can become a cosmic experience; then it is tantra.” – Osho

Beyond our mind-made labels of who we think we are as sexual or spiritual entities, beyond our concepts of sexuality of straight, bi, gay or any other identification we have, is Love. Osho knew this and elegantly shared it in the quote above.

To know thyself as Love, both as an individual and as the One, is the realisation we long for, even we do not yet know it.

It takes a lot of self-trust and courage to really let go into ecstasy – and someone to hold their own heart-space as they give unconditionally to you. Continue reading

A Flower Of Words

A Flower Of Words

Deep roots of spirit, rooted beyond time and space, yet drawing sustenance to fill you with expansion and the thrill of being,

A beautiful stem of life-giving energy streams, drawing the sap of enthralling love upward through your body and psyche into a fountain of praising festive radiance,

A convolution of scented petals forming a geometric mandala of visions, bathing your being in shapes of blissful touch,

A radiant flowering of the wellspring of gorgeous joy, to anoint your joy with a vigorous and outrageous shout of silent wild whoops.

Written about me by a new friend after we had spent an hour ‘together’ by arrangement, not on person, but in connection through the ethers… I was deeply touched by his reflection.  Thank you Lawrence.

What Makes Your Heart Sing?

What makes your heart sing?

For me it’s the deep heart connection where I feel the other, and can see my self reflected in their eyes… losing myself in joyful, soulful, or sexy dancing… delighting in nature and beautiful animals… feeling Spirit fill and move me to the point of tears… sharing words, talking and seeing how people change when they see something new… touch that creates waves of pleasure or helps awaken the sleeper within with its nurturing, loving presence… creating sacred space, slowing down and just being…. helping people to feel better about themselves, to gain some measure of relief from their pain and suffering and to share tools that have helped me… and mostly, just to share my journey, my story and hope that it inspires others to know that they too can change.

What Makes Your Heart Sing?