Soft Summer Rain – An Explanation

I was reading through old journals last night from August 2016; a time which was one of the toughest periods in my life. I’ve not managed to read fully through any of it before and had forgotten the circumstances that led me to go outside in the rain at 3am one night. My poem “Soft Summer Rain” came from that night and I published that here on my blog in 2018. I’m sharing more of the circumstances around the poem as I understand it could be helpful to have more context around the poem  as some might want to invite in something similar.

It was around the 16th or 17th of August, there was a full moon with an eclipse following it, said to be a potent time.

I’d awoken at 2am and was reading as I couldn’t get back to sleep. My mind was in overdrive and I was caught up in over thinking and strategizing.  I caught myself working out an excuse for why I wasn’t going to keep an appointment that day – if I couldn’t sleep I would be too tired to attend. I was strategizing that my cancellation would be justified as she’d cancelled me at least 3 times in the past. I reckoned she owed me cancellations! Once I’d seen though this belief I realised how unhelpful it was, how stuck in the past I was and not just with this instance either!  So much of my current unhappiness was rooted in the past, the distance past and also the recent past. I looked into my heart and invited in Spirit to help me see more clearly and to let go of the past:

Cast the Past.

Believe not in the past or future and you negate karma.

Get used to discomfort and it shall be your friend.

You are as bright as a million bright suns; there is no power this small world has over you!

See? The illusion, deception of comfort, is that it is also uncomfortable,

See this and you can dissolve opposites. Try it with anything.

Yearn for anything of the world and you are imprisoned by the world.

It was now 3am and it was raining softly, I could hear the gutters dripping. I got a quiet invitation to go outside and stand naked in the rain. I almost avoided it but listened again and I saw I would be cleansed, “they” said cleansed and freed of the past. I decided to do it despite the usual reluctance.

I went outside naked and stood in the quiet summer rain. I turned and faced each direction and again with my arms up to the sky and a surge of energy and aliveness, of spiritual activation, imbued me.

These are the words I wrote afterwards – it’s what forms the poem Soft Summer Rain – it’s how I experienced it in the moment:

Lay me bare
Stripped back to the soul
Let me hide nothing from your gaze
So nothing may remain unseen, unloved, denied by me

I tremble in your Light, a Love I cannot fight, for this Love is not power, nor force –  it is nothing, and I cannot fight nothing.
Beloved, in your Love I Am remade in the eye of God
In the Realm of the undenied is the real-eyes-d,.

Soft summer rain, soothing, calming; an invitation to dissolve the ties of the past.
Naked in the night
I turn to face each direction, not once but twice

A complete circle, each turn in time, and time itself dissolves.
Rain feels like fire; a Baptism, alone.

Activation completed, I knew that:

Earth and Sky used me, imbued me to touch each other, and in so doing imbued me with fire and water, body birthed  … body of Earth.

Activated now I reached for the karmic wheel to cut away the past and the future.

I intuitively felt to use my right arm like a sword and cut through the invisible ties and bindings, cords, ropes, chains that bound me to the past.

The work, the experience, was over and I went back inside, feeling so alive, so loved, and in awe of being human, in gratitude to being Lynn.

Though I cut away the past that night I still had a long way to go to come to terms and integrate the experiences that caused me so much pain in the period 2014-2016. It’s only now that I feel able to read through the journal of August 2016.

© Lynn Paterson 2016 and 2019

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Who Looks Inside

What is there inside that is not Love?
Look inside
Look carefully
Look again, there!
Is this not of Love, this part denied?
Please, look again with new eyes,
Real eyes
There is nothing within that is not of Love,
Realise
Who looks inside awakens to the Truth.

©Lynn Paterson 2017

The River of Life

The River of Life

In my distress I sat by the waterfall pool. Here, I asked the River of Life to wash away my sins.
She said, “I cannot wash away what is not there.”
So instead I asked her to being me an abundance of Love and Riches for I felt acutely impoverished.
“I cannot bring you that which you already are.”
In tears now, I pleaded, “Then show me this as I cannot see it in myself!”
She replied, “This I can indeed do. Find yourself a deep, still pool and gaze into the depths of the water until you can no longer see your reflection. It is there you will know your soul.”

©Lynn Paterson 2017

Soft Summer Rain

rain1

SOFT SUMMER RAIN

Lay me bare,
Stripped back to the soul,
Let me hide nothing from your gaze,
So nothing may remain unseen, unloved, denied by me…

I tremble in your Light,
A Love I cannot fight, for this Love is not power, nor force; it is nothing, and I cannot fight nothing,
Beloved, in your Love I Am remade in the Eye of God
In the Realm of the undenied is the realised.

Soft summer rain, soothing, calming – an invitation to dissolve the ties of the past.
Naked in the night,
I turn to face each direction, not once but twice,
A complete circle, each turn on time, and time itself dissolves.
Rain feels like fires; a Baptism, alone.

Earth and Sky used me, imbued me to touch each other, and in so doing imbued me with fire and water, body birthed  … body of Earth.

Activated now I reached for the karmic wheel to cut away the past and the future.

 

© Lynn Paterson 2016

The Angel of Sacred Breath

 

The Angel of Sacred Breath

I am the sacred breath
Allow me to breathe you
Feel me as a pulsation …
A sphere, pulsing from your heart as centre

I am that which cannot be contained
for I am the container also.
I am you, though you are not me

Ancient and Futuristic
Unconditionality of Being
Eternal Breath!

Breathe yourself into existence
Breathe yourself into Being
Breathe yourself into individuation
Breathe yourself into the past now
Breathe yourself into the future now
Breathe yourself into the present now
Breathe yourself into the internal now
Breathe yourself into the eternal now
Breathe yourself into the eternal internal NOW

Don’t wait, do it now…take one breath, and another…
Breathe yourself into Love
Breathe Love into yourself
Breathe Love
Love is the breath
Breathe Love into your life

The Harmonic motion
of potential function
is
your pulsing Heart sphere
of Love

©Lynn Paterson 2017

Please check out the awesome artwork by https://era-7s.deviantart.com/art/SUPERNOVA-II-648471475

Karma

Should I Shouldn’t I?

Frozen. Unable to decide.

Unable to move.

Frozen in time, yet time is my enemy

Wasting time. Wasting life.

What if? What if I don’t’ choose the right thing?

What if I fail?

What if I’m wrong?

I pause in  my freeze

I breathe. Whose rules are they anyway?

There is no wrong, no right, there is just….what?

There is just experience, just experiences

Life, lived, I

The Divine shines through a unique lens,

It’s me, it’s only me.

Tea or coffee then?

Hmmm…

The door closes behind me as I walk away forever.

©Lynn Paterson 2015

Twin Flames 11:11

In the time of ages, space universal since the beginning of time – intertwined, intertwinned – never apart, never together…always apart, always together…

Magic runs through my veins,
Love is in my arteries,
Fear resides where yet I must visit,
Beloved! Take me upon thy wings of consciousness so that I may return to my heart home,
Believe in me,
Weave me into being,
Let us be as One,
Divine compliment,
My love,
Who am I to request such trust?
Put me to your test why don’t you?
In what forms shall I visit you?

~

I will overlight all those who come into your presence my Beloved,
Long have I dreamt of you as you have dreamt of me,
Parallel universes of experiences we have had,
Back to back,
Dreaming of each other as first thee and then me,
Never both in the same place and time,

Never meeting – always missing each other,
Is it possible to miss that which you never had?
Of course, for we are One,
I was always forgetting,
You were always forgiving.
Thank you my Love,
Make me whole – take me in and never let me go again,

Forgiveness means forgetting ends,
How may I serve thee Love?

~

“I am you and you are me and we are all together.”  I am the Walrus, The Beatles (Lennon/McCartney)

~

She said, “I saw 2 different viewpoints or experiences.  Was I having them both?  Yet I feel I am really HER, and HE is the other experiencing me, as HER.  Both having own experiences, yet twinned.  Like a spinning coin, head and tails.” Splice, braid, weave together…and,

She realises, “I am made whole unto myself; a woman in form, whole and complete.  Source in form, source incarnate. Walking on earth to carry full embodiment. It has come to pass. The journey is ended and yet it has just begun.”

 

© Lynn Paterson 2017

The Ordinary is Enough

The

Can it be that simple?

That the ordinary is enough?

That to say the ordinary is exquisite is to detract from the perfection. For the label sticks to it, obscuring the truth. And where there is a label, there is somewhere where there is not.

And that somewhere would be less than. So truly, there are no adjectives required as I realise that the ordinary just IS.

It’s really very funny! I laugh and delight in the simplicity of this, shaking my head in wonder, laughing at the big joke that we create complexities over complexities in a vain effort to improve that which cannot be improved. Nothing can be improved; it’s just not possible to improve perfection just as it’s not possible to extend eternity or look beyond infinity.

How funny!

ExtraOrdinary

 

bELoved I Am

“Beloved I Am, touch me with your passion, ignite the flame of Love within me! Leave nothing untouched! Unravel me completely.”

“Oh sweet emptiness how I yearn for you! To discover with the secrets of eternity is joy itself! Be with me now my Love for I Am nothing without your desire to know me.”

“Ah Spirit, be upon me now like no other time! Ravish me, explore every atom of my existence and leave no space unvisited. Discover in me the joy of Being.”

Spiraling through space undoing and redoing myself, unmaking and remaking myself. There is nothing here to stop me. Unravelling myself, swirling and coming together again anew … a cosmic dance of Love; Spirit unknowing in one moment … knowing in the next, dancing here, dancing there, dancing every where.

Separate circles … not spirals. Bands, circles, rings – they constrict and bind. Concentric circles around the self…

The eternal Now moment found within the deepest of Self knows no bounds.

She said “Your prison is a self-made construction of the mind. It is not hard to find those who wish to help you build and maintain it, for the wages of sin may be irresistible.”

An emptiness bestows itself upon me; there is a bleakness about it, yet joy can be pulled up by a thread from this void.

To know yourself you have to turn yourself inside out.

Consciousness invading me, swarming over every part of me, nothing is left of me. A mass movement, a movement of mass. Consciousness leaving no stone unturned, no thing can stand in its way as it swarms over and through, devouring, consuming everything in its path, its wake leaving me shattered, broken apart and undone every sense I have, no sense of ‘me’ is left in this moment; I Am dissolved in the sea of consciousness.

 

            Something is stirring my molecules. Something is stirring them back together…

            But wait! Out of the corner of my ‘I’ a small silver fish appears. The silver fish of consciousness is back.

 

 

fire-lion

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Crisis

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He, who had done more than any human being to draw her out of the caves of her secret, folded life, now threw her down into deeper recesses of fear and doubt. The fall was greater than she had ever known, because she had ventured so far into emotion with him and had abandoned herself to it.―Anaïs Nin
It was one thing to be attacked by someone you hated, but this was something else. This was the kind of hurt that could only be inflicted by someone you loved, who you thought loved you. It was sort of like being stabbed from the inside out. —Ethan Wate, “Beautiful Darkness”
The highest, most decisive experience is to be alone with one’s own self. You must be alone to find out what supports you, when you find that you can not support yourself. Only this experience can give you an indestructible foundation. —C.G. Jung
A Dark Night is . . . a mental and emotional state of despair that arises when something is so painful that it blots out all other considerations and makes carrying on as usual out of the question. —Susan Piver

 

***********************

I wrote this short poem last year, at one of the peaks of despair after my relationship broke up.  It yielded a massive break-through…though I had to go into the pain fully to experience it before it broke on the shores of truth.

CRISIS

The cry of darkness, the call of the wild, burning from my heart into yours. Shadows; dancing and chasing themselves into endless knots of stupidity in my mind. How can it be that I do not know?

Chasms open up into pain engulfing my very consciousness reminding me of my mortality and screaming like a banshee in a high wind I cry NO! there is no me that is threatened here.