France – Initiation Part IV

Dear Reader, thank you for visiting. This blog is a continuation of my story about  journeys and experiences in France.  The story has taken longer to write about than the actual time in France!  This is because the story is actually woven into a very large part of my life and is evidence of how spirituality and awareness unfolds and expands in the living mystery school we call life … you can find all the parts on the France Pilgrimages menu tab.

Rennes-les-Bains
Peter and I had taken a long journey in many senses of the word to get here. There was a sense of home-coming and some relief at reaching Rennes-Les-Bains.  We both had our own as well as shared memories and I think we were feeling the sense of the great wheel turning on being back here. For me it was bitter-sweet to be back here with the memories of exactly 3 years ago in 2014.   So much of my life experiences are connected to this place; it seems that Rennes-Les-Bains is somehow acting like a pivot around which much has turned.   We arrived mid evening and found our accommodation to be quite basic, or even a little grim in fact. It’s a small village and there seems to be a dearth of nice self-catering places to stay but never mind, it was in a great location only steps away from the main square and frankly, it was enough just to be here.

Rennes-les-Bains is of course deep in the well-known mystery that surrounds the area and the village of Rennes-les-Château. For me though the area now is much more about the deeper mystery of the eternal feminine.

We had booked 3 nights here and were looking forward to relaxing, travelling little and allowing things to organically unfold.  I had a mystery to follow; that of discovering the source of the salty River Sals which runs through the area.  This river is where Magdalene was said to carry out baptisms, in the Fontaine d’amour (and you can see my photos from the 2014 retreat in the first part of this blog series).  The subject of salt, and source, had come intuitively to me during the inner instruction I received about re-visiting France again in 2017.  Though it was a rather sparse, vague intimation, I knew immediately that it was a deep and significant intimidation of many layers and felt too it was connected with the River Sals.

I knew that the reference to salt was also about the alchemy and metaphysical subject of salt and I have carried out a good deal of research and searching on this and at the same time I am aware that it is often better to leave aside looking into what others have written or discovered about salt as this does create preconception. I know that direct experiential insight, ‘knowing’ is in fact a far more powerful experience and learning for me than any research I might have done. The reference to salt was not new to me either as on and off for some years now I had pondered on salt and the deeper meanings/function of it for some years. In particular this quote from the bible was something that I kept on coming across:

“Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again?”

Since I first became aware of the quote I wondered about it and it now rings so true for me for I know I lost much of my flavour over the past few years and this trip was working to restore it in a multi-dimensional way.

This more recent salt/source intimation was somewhat ‘validated’ during a conversation I had with an acquaintance who guides people around the area and appeared to have made a similar connection.  My agenda for Rennes-Les-Bains therefore was to find the source of the Sals!

A Magical Meeting

The next day was another beautiful sunny day and after a lazy morning we headed to the square. We ordered a pizza and beer and reminisced about the extraordinary coincidences of 2014 dining there with Taj and each spotting an acquaintance we knew, who were actually dining together!

We were also chatting about the source of the Sals and doing some internet searching on the topic. I had just been talking to Peter about a friend Marie, whose house we almost stayed in 3 years ago, might know the location as her house was in Sougraine, the village just beyond Rennes and where the river would be sourced above. Though she no longer lived in the area I was about to message her and at that moment my attention was drawn to the sound of a car door shutting and I watched as a lovely woman jauntily moved down the street and into the square.  Now I had only met Marie the once, but this looked very like her.  I just stared as she passed, incredulous and yet not believing it could be her – I meant here are coincidences and synchronicities but really?  Anyway, she passed me by without recognition and went into a house in the square…I sent the text anyway.

Five minutes later, as I was watching the house in the corner she emerged without her sunglasses, I had also removed mine.  There was no doubt now that it was Marie!  As it usual in these serendipitous moments we were both delighted and somewhat awestruck, even slightly overwhelmed at the odds of it happening and we had a sweet, tearful reunion. She was only here for another hour and had been visiting her daughter in another village and popped into Rennes to see an old friend.  Marie now lived in Berlin and had an hour before leaving to catch her flight back.

Though she had no clue about the source of the river Sals, both Peter and I had at the moment Marie came over, simultaneously found the same site on the internet which gave precise directions to the source.  Marie’s surname sounds like river (I won’t give the actual spelling to protect her identity) and of course, her first name is Mary.

All this is what I nowadays refer to ‘resonance’ happening – I used to think of it as synchronicity until an experience a few years ago changed the way I interpret reality and I began to move from seeing events as cause and effect to seeing reality created through sympathetic vibrational resonance. (See this blog for more on resonance) When things/events became so inter-linked that I couldn’t make sense anymore about how such unlikely things could be happening, I had to find another explanation, as cause and effect were simply too limited to explain the reality I was experiencing.  Once I began to see events through the eyes of resonance, it became a lot easier to understand how even the most outrageous of synchronicities and coincidences happen, and to some extent, it removed a large part of the mystery, some might say magic, of such experience.  This is only part of the case as along with understanding of how we create reality comes peace. However there is no doubt that the ‘entertainment’ value of synchronicities, the fascination in them, starts to diminish once you see how resonance works in the creation of reality.

It is true that the whole of the France trip itself including the planning and aftermath was an experience of resonance at work and this worked like a spiral, gradually becoming more obvious and powerful as we reached the centre, which was Rennes-les-Bains in 2017 just as it was for me in 2014.  When I’m there it feels like I am in the centre point of a gravitational pull where the veil is so thin, where there is no time between cause and effect and simple imagining can makes things happen almost instantaneously.

Here in the Languedoc we knew we were at the centre; the deepest, most southerly part of our journey geographically, literally and emotionally. Our activities here were to be deep in nature, springs, mountains, rivers, cave…deep earthly experiences and deep in body, relaxing, massage, resting. We had all in all 5 days in the south after which it was our turn around to head north and east. Right now though we were heading in the beautiful sunshine out on a short journey to Sougraine area to find the salty source which we were happy to discover was very easy to find thanks to the blog. (There’s some great information on the salty source on this blog.)

The Salty Source
Like the blog authors we left the car at the bottom and hoofed it up; it was a lovely walk up beside the river through mountain pasture and I was grateful for the shade of the trees as it was still pretty hot plus I was tired from the journey and lack of sleeping well. We reached a car parking area and found a track up through the woods which opened out onto the clearing and here was the salty source which bubbles up from the ground. All my fatigue instantly vanished and I felt renewed just being here; I felt such joy, peace and comfort being here. I had a lightness of spirit and soul and I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay overnight, to camp out under the stars, and I wanted to bring others here to, just to simply be and soak up the energy of the place.

“Have salt among yourselves, and be at peace with each other” (Mark 9:50b)

This is a quote I just found in the bible (honestly, I hardly know the bible yet it is proving a very interesting source of meaningful and appropriate salty quotes, not to mention giving me some new and deeper interpretations to chew upon.)

We had fun there, like children exploring. We tasted the water and were so astonished at how incredibly salty it was! Apparently at times it can be twice as salty as the Mediterranean and I can easily believe that. We marvelled at how green the algae in the salty water was – how did it manage to grown in such a saline environment? We scrambled up to the source itself, bubbling magically out of the ground through rocks, coming down from Mt Bugarach (which is in itself known as a mysterious, sacred mountain.) A couple of tourists arrived and we had a brief and pleasant conversation with the older lady marvelling at the saltiness; I could tell she was similarly affected by the place. I bathed my feet in the super cold source and we explored the little huts where peasants evaporated water to obtain salt for selling…salt for sale (see how the words are connected here…) Sel-cell-salt-sell-self-sel(scot’s for self)-sale (Italian for salt) sel (French).

In the months after France I have continued to meditate and research on salt and my understanding is expanding on this vast topic – I am now more interested and fascinated than ever to discover how incredibly significant this humble compound is no matter which level of interest is looked at. Today I came across the term ‘A Covenant of Salt’ which is found in the Old Testament 3 times. As I said, I am by no means a scholar on the bible, however over the years ‘knowings’ which have come to me are often to be found in the bible and I have learned that the truth is not restricted to one place or another, nor one book or another, but in a ‘both and’ way and not in an ‘either or’ manner.

A Covenant of Salt is an eternal covenant; one which cannot be broken.  This I sense refers not only to an agreement between people, and between people and God, but on a much deeper level, this is an agreement between us and our Source. Are we are a compound that cannot be unmade? Salt of the earth =truthful and with integrity.  These are not just fanciful descriptions – they are facts of existence, and there is no choice in the matter – they are so. The attributes are not separate from the substance, so the substance must be that too.

The Weather Turns
The next day autumn arrived early to the South of France. The weather was cooler but fine for a morning walk around the village to the red spring/source and Seat of Isis – I’ve little to report on that as it’s another well-known power point that I feel very little at and I went there to see if that had changed much, but it hadn’t and though I felt a deep sense of calm in the chair there isn’t much else to share. By afternoon it was raining with unusually cool temperatures of 15C. The weather stayed wet and cold like this for the next day too and we took the opportunity to rest a lot, sleep late, read, talk, cook for ourselves nourishing meals and importantly, give massages.  I’ve mentioned previously that the giving of touch in the form of massage was an important aspect of this trip – though I’ve been in favour of touch and massage for many years now (including doing tantra massage professionally for 9 years) it wasn’t until this trip that I truly, deeply realised just how much it helps in the integration process, and this is of course especially if you’re the type who is in their head a lot, analysing and intellectualising the spiritual initiation and journeys of consciousness. I remember when Deborah Anapol and I were planning the first retreat to France that she said the Gnostic initiates were constantly massaged during certain initiations and this struck me at the time as being accurate and very interesting. I’ve since tried to find confirmation of this unsuccessfully.

Ussat-les-Bains – 2 nights
We were supposed to have a guided tour of the Cathar caves of initiation (the same caves I’ve still to write about the first experience in 2014) but our guide had to cancel at the last minute, this wasn’t so much disappointing as a little surprising as we’d only just spoken with him a some days previously to arrange it, plus we discovered our accommodation was only 2 houses away from where he was, so it all seemed to be aligned nicely.  However it wasn’t to be and we decided we would try and find the caves ourselves, which we did and spent some time in the dark inside the complex of 7 caverns. We just stayed at the entrance to it and I confess I was afraid to go into a complex not knowing if I would get lost. Peter however had no such fear and next time he said he would go through the complex. Even that gives me cause for fear and I’d probably be worried about him not coming back out!!  We then found the Bethlehem cave which is the cave of final initiation of the Cathar initiates. This is the cave that has the pentagram carved into the wall where in 2014 I got up into it but this time I was less fit and didn’t try it.  Peter did very ably though and then later on he gave me more massage – what a guy.

Situated in the Ariège River valley, Ussat-les-Bains, like Rennes-les-Bains,  is also a thermal spa well known for its rich mineral water with curative properties.  There’s another village joined to it called Ornaloc and the commune is referred to as Ornolac-Ussat-les-Bains.

So the theme of water, springs, salt, mineral water, rivers, caves, nature was evident here too.

From Ussat we headed west via Montsegur Castle which we only looked at from the road.  We then headed to Nebias and spent a good couple of hours in the breathtakingly beautiful and mystical Labyrinthe Verte . Once again I had bitter-sweet memories as the previous time I’d been here was with my now ex-husband  whilst staying at Monsegur however the beautiful sunny day, the company, both human and nature spirits, worked magic upon me and my mood lifted quickly. This place is deepest green nature, thick with nature spirits. It wasn’t until we were leaving that we realised that we’d gone through three distinctive levels or zones at this place, both physically and energetically. This mirrored our overall trip and also that of entering a cathedral building – through the entrance vestibule, then the nave and then the apse/altar. Some may also notice this is also echoing that of the triple goddess, with maiden, mother and crone. Or Virgin Mary, Mary Magdalene and Black Madonna/Virgin.   For me this trinity ‘pattern’ was to come to life even more vividly during my final massage with Peter after we returned to his home in Paris.

Heading North and West
North east onto Sete that evening to stay with a dear friend of Peter’s for 2 nights. I’d thought about visiting Beziers or somewhere else but in Sete we had lovely weather gain and I was feeling I’d had quite enough of Cathar and deeply emotional/spiritual experiences! Instead we had delightful meals out and explored the town with Peter’s friend. I really appreciate the opportunity to have such amazing changes in scene and content – the variety is a balm to my soul.

From Sete we headed a little north to Saint Maries de la Mer where we had lunch and visited the chapel.  I had a profound experience which started on the beach as we arrived, remembrances of incredibly happy times though I’d not been there in this lifetime. I was highly energised. The chapel felt like home to me – I remembered it and the feeling of being there was deeply nurturing. I walked up the aisle like I owned it – so interesting to get that sense of complete and utter ‘rightness of being’.  It is built on an underground spring which is visible from the chapel but not accessible, said to be the reason Mary Magdalene chose the spot to make home in. Yet another spring/source and by the time I had got this far, the theme of water, springs, source, salt was evident though not the meaning. There is also the famous  salt – Fleur de Sel de Camargue from the area which is associated to Mary Magdalene by the pilgrims and seekers who come to this place.

The energy/area of the Camargue is incredible and I find it hard to describe it – it definitely reminded me of Corsica, and there is indeed something very different about it, as if it were another country almost. Certainly it evoked or awakened cellular memory for me and touched me profoundly.  I can feel it now in my body as I tune into the area as I write about it.

Our next stop was Aix en Province – this was unscheduled until we got to Rocamadour when Peter received a call from a lady connected to his friend in Sete; she was asking him about tantra massages for herself and a friend.  Why not call in after Sete then?  They were delighted and so she hosted us overnight in her beautiful home in Aix-en-Province.

From Aix we headed north with an overnight stay in Vienne which is a town I felt resistance to once I was there, especially in the cathedral, though it was probably Peter’s favourite cathedral. Next day we head back to Paris which was a long drive and it was very good to get back home to Peter’s apartment.

I’d like to finish here and leave the last part for another day because what happened to me during a final massage from Peter was one of the most extraordinary revelations of my life and gave me knowing (gnosis) on the nature of reality, religion, the Virgin Mary, Mary Magdalene, the Black Madonna and Nature herself.

If you’d like to see more pics of the trip: https://photos.app.goo.gl/19PiPuhU3U2w3BM43

Advertisements

Twin Flames 11:11

In the time of ages, space universal since the beginning of time – intertwined, intertwinned – never apart, never together…always apart, always together…

Magic runs through my veins,
Love is in my arteries,
Fear resides where yet I must visit,
Beloved! Take me upon thy wings of consciousness so that I may return to my heart home,
Believe in me,
Weave me into being,
Let us be as One,
Divine compliment,
My love,
Who am I to request such trust?
Put me to your test why don’t you?
In what forms shall I visit you?

~

I will overlight all those who come into your presence my Beloved,
Long have I dreamt of you as you have dreamt of me,
Parallel universes of experiences we have had,
Back to back,
Dreaming of each other as first thee and then me,
Never both in the same place and time,

Never meeting – always missing each other,
Is it possible to miss that which you never had?
Of course, for we are One,
I was always forgetting,
You were always forgiving.
Thank you my Love,
Make me whole – take me in and never let me go again,

Forgiveness means forgetting ends,
How may I serve thee Love?

~

“I am you and you are me and we are all together.”  I am the Walrus, The Beatles (Lennon/McCartney)

~

She said, “I saw 2 different viewpoints or experiences.  Was I having them both?  Yet I feel I am really HER, and HE is the other experiencing me, as HER.  Both having own experiences, yet twinned.  Like a spinning coin, head and tails.” Splice, braid, weave together…and,

She realises, “I am made whole unto myself; a woman in form, whole and complete.  Source in form, source incarnate. Walking on earth to carry full embodiment. It has come to pass. The journey is ended and yet it has just begun.”

 

© Lynn Paterson 2017

Frequency, Dimensions and States of Being

I’d been reading the Cathar book We Are One Another by Arthur Guirdham and I’d been at it pretty intensely, getting drawn into the story for a couple of weeks, and it was also just after the first Waterfalls retreat. I’d been sharing with a friend about my France experiences, and there was a certain energy to that. That night I couldn’t sleep and was restless, some kundalini type orgasmic energy (mild) came up through me and that is slightly unusual for me these days. Then I started to get words through:

Kundalini can be utilised to raise vibration consciously. Once a certain vibration is reached, the information (truth) at that level is available to read, or is revealed. Like moving up and down the musical scales, different vibrational state can be accessed easily.  Movement between them (like an elevator) is easily achieved.  One floor is not necessarily better than another, once all are easily accessible by choice, one can move between at will and not get stuck in one place.  It’s the getting stuck and not realising you can move, that is suffering.  Once you realise you can move at will, suffering ceases, as does judgement and really, not floor is better or worse than another, they are just different, and preferences are fine to have.

Sexual ecstasy can be used in the same way, as can nature, like waterfalls, which can give access to the Nature Spirit dimension.  Getting stuck in lower states can be avoided, or if it happens, then there’s always someone there to remind you .  This is the benefit of having a group to consort with.

This movement describes resonance.

Food can be used – by omitting food of low vibration, one may access higher frequencies.  Vibration however will not be sustained at this level because there is separation/judgement of ‘lower’ food, or energies. Transcendence is not lifting above, not going through.  So, if there should be a time when vibration drops, and there will be because it’s not true higher vibe, but almost like artificially made higher state, then a crash will happen because there is still a frequency not embodied. By eating low/dense vibration food, and not judging it, one may bring consciousness to the lower states, thereby giving opportunity for growth and expansion to that state.  Any judgement on anything will negate any chance that there is anything in that structure that may be utilised. All states exist in all humans at all times.

The ‘key’ is remembering that one can travel or move between frequencies.

Travelling to other locations horizontally (physical travel to locations on the planet) gives access to information and inter-action there too.  Embodiment is helped by massage.  Once one person accesses a frequency and embodies it, it is available to all at that level.

Penetration of Matter by Spirit. It’s about matching frequency.

You can travel ahead but you must circle around and collect the strays, the laggers-on and help them if you are one who can bridge the gap by having one foot in high and the other in low.  Function – ascension.

I realised that though food was mentioned, this was but one example of how we may judge activities or organisations, such as the banking and financial sector, or government etc.  Name your favourite dislike!  It was also understood that making anything a villain, or hero, would inevitably lead to it becoming the other.  Don’t take sides – build a bridge between them instead.

This is a time for collaboration. That the Cathars upheld each other comes across very clearly in that book, they looked out for each other and lifted each other when one was hurting, wounded, in pain.  This is something we can do for each other, just by listening, chatting, being kind – it’s easy to help another like this and one feels lifted by the experience of doing so.  If I am feeling low, then I must learn to reach out and let my dear ones know – and vice-versa.  It doesn’t hurt or deplete me to allow love to flow through me if a dear one is feeling low.  The key is the knowledge and awareness that it is possible to move between states of consciousness and that one is not ‘fixed’ in one place…this is also important when it comes to listening to a dear one in pain – they do not need to be fixed.

Blessings

Lynn

©Lynn Paterson October 2017

France ~ Initiation (Part I)

Earlier this year I was surprised to feel the inner calling to return to the south of France.  I’d thought I was finished with France. I was even more surprised to feel a connection again to Mary Magdalene as I was certain I’d left all that behind, never to be re-visited.  Then the Cathars popped in too and all sorts of resonant information started collating itself in my close connections, social media, inboxes and other such places. As I said, I was very surprised to find this connection alive again because as far as I was concerned, I’d seen through all of the illusion and had no desire to get back involved with any of it again. I’d visited the area about 10 years previously and also in 2014 with a group.  Though my time there in 2014 was incredibly awesome, there were other aspects that I’d come into realisation about afterwards that lead to me withdrawing energy from the stories and people of the area.  I remember that even in 2014 I was surprised to hear from Magdalene again, as I hadn’t been feeling much of a connection for some years.  Truly, it’s a living mystery how these things come about!

In late 2013, and early 2014, I’d had two ‘callings’ from Magdalene in connection with the south of France.  As it turns out, so had my friend Deborah.  She emailed me “Magdalene is calling me, fancy going to the south of France with me?”  Deborah and I had re-connected in 2014 in Malta/Gozo after several years of little contact between us – but one thing is for certain with Deborah and me, every time we met it was extremely activating for us both.

“Magdalene’s been calling me too, so yes!” I somewhat bemusedly found myself saying. We decided to organise a retreat and blend that with private time. I felt like it must be in September. We called our retreat “Initiation” and all I can say is, it certainly was! One major factor in our retreat was to leave space for the Unknown (Divine Mother )  to come in – I was very sure of this aspect though Deborah less so, she was always happy to trust my intuitive hits.  Here’s how we put it:

“Our theme for the weekend is “Initiation”. Our intention is to invite the serpent-light power of Kundalini to awaken. We will be the crucible for Gaia’s Fire and our instructor will be Gaia Herself. And this is the exploratory part… we don’t know precisely what She will bring forth!”

Mary Magdalene by Richard Stodart

Little did we know what this was setting off for us, and that our individual and joint stories would weave unexpected and unknown paths.  In fact, I wonder at my own inexperience looking back – boy have I had initiation after initiation since then!  I have also discovered since that our story wove with that of the Cathars as well as that of Mary Magdalene.  When we discovered that there was a Cathar cave experience that the Cathar Initiates took part in we decided we simply had to include the cave expedition which several retreat participants decided to join us in too.  Because of the turns my life took that summer, I never did blog about the retreat, sites and caves we experienced so I’ll be including that later on, but for now I’m skipping ahead to the story of the 2015 retreat.

Continue reading

Sovereign Yew

“Till the wind shake a thousand whispers from the yew” – T.S. Eliot

It’s been just over three years since the yew incident in Devon which forms the main part for this blog, I’ve only recently felt to write about it. Before now, I never really seriously thought to put it into the written word and now that I have, I’ve really struggled in writing about it and it’s testing me in many ways.

Days of starting and not getting anywhere, going off on tangents and realising that they’re not tangents and unable to cope with trying to get a very large map into a readable format.  There are layers of meanings within meanings and always there is a deeper level of understanding to drop into.  But how does one paint the whole universe? By realising that one cannot not paint the whole universe in the first stroke? At least not unless one trusts that in every word, in every space, in what is said, and not said, is like a hologram that contains the whole. And by just being content with the content so far… and realising that sometimes the perfection of writing is that it is imperfect, and unfinished.

That hasn’t made it easier to write and I know now after struggling with it for weeks, that I am going through a deep initiation and learning as I write this piece. As I sit now writing this bit, I have just experienced a small panic attack and an intense urge to get up and do something else, anything to distract myself. I become quite agitated and get adrenaline rushes and hot flushes. I don’t know whether this is just about writing this particular piece or writing in general. Probably the two are not separate. I can only manage to write a few words, and a sentence or two takes more than 30 minutes! I think it’s partly because of the difficulties in either talking or writing without using a linear cause and effect model. I must write a poem about the experience of trying to write this stuff 😀 Certainly it would help if I could develop more of a sense of humour about it all – probably a good time for some laughter yoga! In writing this piece, I can actually see myself playing out on the micro scale the macrocosm of my life habits – the distraction, the focus on the little details like spelling, the seeming inability to trust the process, the constant allowing of interference, lack of focus, distraction by shiny things… the list goes on …and I’m betting all that sounds very familiar to a lot of people.

I suspect that this is just the beginning, and that I will be writing about this and in general from now on.  One of the incredibly difficulties I find in writing is in trying to describe things from an holistic experience, rather than cause and effect, or storytelling in a linear fashion. I don’t know where to start and how to describe all the various directions my experience takes me in. This is because that even if not at the time, I now experience life as simultaneous potential (resonance) and not just in terms of  cause and effect and a single forward moving timeline.  I mostly always write from my direct experiences and will sometimes include additional material to help to explain or expand my findings. Sometimes this acts like validation for me. Also, I write in this style to keep it as pure as possible, I do not wish to translate it into ‘givens’ or create more dogmas from my findings. The point of experience or the sharing of it, is not control and knowledge – it’s not so one can say, ‘well this is the truth, and now I’m happy because I know the unknowable’.

Additionally, and interestingly, there are  two very important things I’ve discovered during this process. 1) coffee is a shamanic plant medicine and can be engaged with as such. 2)My internal guidance telling me that ‘little and often’ is incredible wisdom for me, and not only does it work, it reveals so much more, and importantly, un-writes old unhelpful stuff and writes new neural pathways that have implications throughout my life. 3)I’ve forgotten what number 3 was.

Here goes:    Continue reading

Deadwood

Consciousness doesn’t leave you when you die. Consciousness cannot die. The physical form may cease to be as it is, yet even that is consciousness in another form, and it may change its form so dying is simply a rearrangement of consciousness, form-in-motion. In-form-motion. It is forming and unforming in every moment. Living in the physical is a choice in every moment: An “informed” choice. That we don’t see or know it this way is simply down to our beliefs. The dead wood is made of the same stuff as that which lives on it: consciousness. Consciousness is energy that is aware of itself. So how could the wood be dead? Only if we are unable to see what it is will it look either dead or alive. It is been eaten now by a bug, digested in the stomach… at what point does it become the bug?

19650246_10156277905368362_713275215_o

 

Not Now

Looking through my journal for some notes, I came across this little piece I wrote a few months ago. It speaks of the experience of contraction after expansion. After the Ecstasy, the Laundry, as Jack Kornfield put it.

 

Not Now

The dawn was grey and unpromising

Another one like so many before

Heavy was the first wave of weariness and with pain fast on its heels, it crashed once more onto my heart.

How much more I wondered.

How much more before I can take no more?

 

Following my plan for the morning, I went about my business not allowing complete despair to root in me again.

Reminding myself of that which I knew; it’s okay, just be with it, I sang to alieve the pain of dread. Could I ever hope that the shift would last?

Or am I doomed to be teased by Clearsight only to have it snatched away overnight?

Cry of the Wild

Some years ago I was interacting with an archangel called Ariel. These interactions took the form of both channelled sessions and more intimate personal interaction through the mind/heart. In the channelled sessions I got to exchange verbal communication which was wonderful, and dialoguing with an 11th dimensional entity was tremendously exciting to me, especially as I’d been fascinated with angelic consciousness for some years. Ariel was a fabulous teacher and a wonderful friend – I was profoundly moved each time we connected through the channel, who was Isaac George, my partner at the time. Thanks to Isaac and Ariel, I got to explore many metaphysical topics and matters of conscious evolution as well as very personal issues and healing too.

There was one session which included a conversation about the nature of consciousness, which was a common topic of ours. When talking of consciousness, what needs to be understood is that perspective changes everything and the nature of consciousness depends entirely on individual perspective and as such is not a static understanding, but a fluid, ever changing knowing, of understanding, and lack of understanding. However, that does not distract from the power of the moment in which I saw clearly for the first time how consciousness acts upon itself to ‘reunite’ itself.

As Ariel talked, I listened with my whole body, allowing the body and mind to soften, relax and open and did not attempt to interpret or analyse what I was hearing. (This is a method I recommend and continue to employ and share today.) What I saw was that consciousness is all that there is. There is consciousness that knows this, and there is consciousness that doesn’t remember this (yet). That which knows acts upon that which does not know. Or it could also be said that as we remember  and align with ourselves, everything re-constitutes itself to reflect/show that. Ariel explained “When you embody the Source consciousness with your particular faculties, you are in a position to demonstrate it. And when you are in a position to demonstrate it and you do that, everything around you re-constellates without you even thinking of doing that.” This is consciousness acting upon itself.

I saw completely without doubt or any possibility of failure, that consciousness will succeed in having its way, because there is nothing other than consciousness, and in truth there is no ‘way’ as such. There is no stopping consciousness. Indeed, even to use the word ‘stop’ infers it is possible to stop, and this is simply not the case. One might say consciousness is like the most virulent, unstoppable virus affecting everything in its path, with nothing escaping; but this still does not fully describe the truth, power and ‘isness’ of consciousness.’ It is all there is. There is no success or failure possible, everything just ‘is’.

This was a tremendously exciting vision of the nature of consciousness and it gave me incredible hope and trust in the world we live in. I came into the peace of knowing that there is really nothing that needs to be done. I knew it was simply a matter of time till consciousness ‘healed’ itself and that, whilst I may wish things to speed up and improve, I had to let all ideas of timing go. It was a process already under way and I was but a part of a great ocean and yet that ocean would not be the same without me. Session over, but still contemplating this revelation, I wandered out into the back garden and just stood in the beautiful evening sunshine in the midst of nature, in the quiet of the countryside near to Loch Lomond. A thought crossed my mind that as I must be patient, it was indeed the most idyllic location to be patient in and my heart opened more with the gratitude of being here, immersed in nature, and through that, connected with the world as a whole. I saw myself in future moments, coming out here again and again, standing in this beautiful place and just feeling the world soul, nature and the humans within it. In such timeless moments we become aware of the eternal nature of who we really are.

As I breathed and meditated with this, my mind opened to a question, “I wonder what how this transformation of consciousness will actually look like as it happens. How will things change?”

An image arose in my mind of women going out into their back yards, gardens, to small concrete or paved areas, out onto the back street, on the beach, in the woods, somewhere, anywhere, but standing out there and sounding their voice without inhibition. I saw ordinary women from all over the world doing this. Some were screaming, some howling, others crying, or shouting, or yelling, some were doing all of the above. Some of these women were shouting because they were happy, some were very sad and full of grief, others so angry and as mad as hell. There were anxious, fearful women and those who were joyful and ecstatic. There were those who were quietly, desperately depressed and hopeless. Many women were lonely and isolated. All ordinary, no matter who or what they were, and their ordinariness was remarkable; it did not matter who the woman was, or what she had or hadn’t done in the world, her voice was her voice, unique and welcome on Earth. They were just doing what all women may do naturally when not concerned with how it looks or whether they’ll be called unreasonable, hysterical or emotional – they were just being themselves. They were women who on one level or another, were awakening to the truth of their feelings; they were not thinking about their feelings, they were expressing them, in the moment.

What struck me as most remarkable was that each woman was simply just doing ‘her thing’ with no preconceived idea of whether it would change anything or indeed matter in any way at all. I saw thousands of women around the globe doing this, yet I saw no plan or coordinated event, no direction, no aim; in fact, nothing but the wild cry of woman. Every woman is whole and autonomous; a universe in herself, diverse, unique and at the same time part of a collective. I understood that the collective does not come first; the individual experience must come first, and from there a collective forms itself, naturally. We’ve had the collective ideal, ‘for the greatest good of all’ and it doesn’t work. Whilst there is a common situation, we cannot rely on current ideologies to ‘fix’ things because that is exactly what happens – they get ‘fixed’ in place and are unmovable, dead, devoid of life. Unity cannot be imposed upon self by some higher grand idealism – it must come as a side-effect of coming into wholeness on an individual basis. Truly there is no greater good for the whole if it compromises an individual’s sovereignty.

In this vison of transformation, individuation is where the power is, not on any belief of solidarity. That does not render solidarity as undesirable. All it means is that for there to be the realisation of full potential for humanity, sovereignty or autonomous self, oneself must come first and foremost. Why? Because the very act of each being themselves creates a whole, a harmony that is wild and free, not forced or contrived, borne of effort and trying to change something; neither was it derived from thoughts that ‘we should’ or ‘it ought to be this way or that’.

This is why the uncoordinated, unplanned, unrehearsed, combined voices of women, long unsung and longing to be heard, do in fact matter, and matter quite literally. For what I saw was these unrehearsed, spontaneous cries joined together through sympathetic vibrations, growing through resonances into powerful waves of sound that quite literally break up matter. They were turning into dust all that is not in harmony with nature; it reminded me of the old biblical story of the Walls of Jericho. I saw the old world quickly crumbling away and new harmonious buildings and infrastructure taking the place of that which is out of harmony. It happened very rapidly in my vision, like a movie on fast forward. I realised it would not really happen like that; it would more likely be a very gradual process and the power of the resonant waves of women would change the world.

It was staggering to see how potentially powerful our own sound is and that each one’s voice affects the whole. When we are spontaneous, free and unrehearsed, we are in the moment and there is no separation of self from experience. It is so powerful that, even without trying to change anything, everything will change, as we simply do what we’ve held back for centuries, let free our cry of the wild.

A final thought entered my mind: That which has been made, may be unmade.

Lynn Paterson 2016 ©

With thanks to Peter, a retired physicist friend of mine who helps me make sense of these experiences and put them into understandable concepts. Edited by Andrew Jurascheck

 

“Everything is determined, the beginning as well as the end, by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect as well as for the star. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.” ~ Albert Einstein

sci-1010-chapter-6-43-638

Three Types of Love

Eventually it becomes impossible to not remember what One is; no matter which path is taken, the follower will always be taken to the end. And the end is always the end, no matter which path has been taken. There is no where else to go.  Indeed there is no ‘where’ to go to, only the illusion of going, and only the illusion of a ‘where’.

The enigma of travel is such that it disrupts the mind by interfering with so called intelligence.  Indeed there is no such thing as intelligence, as everything is just what it is, in that moment.  No intelligence is actually required for something to appear to occur. There is no occurrence, there is no one to observe an occurrence, there is no ‘One’.  For there to be a ‘One’ supposes that there be other than ‘one’, i.e., more than one, or many perhaps.  Eventually ‘One’ will see that even ‘One’ does not exist other than as a concept. If there is no other than the ‘one’ then there is no need to call itself the ‘one’. Language itself is the evidence of intelligence interfering with reality.  Intelligence interfering with reality is what creates the illusion of physical reality, and of change.

Many times, over and over again, with the appearance of change, is the story experienced. IF there is no agreement to resist, then the story reveals itself for it cannot do otherwise, for it is the story after all.  How could it hide what it is?  Only by agreement of forgetfulness, yet even then, the story is there, in plain sight, but with forgetfulness it appears to disappear, like a reset button is pressed just at the crucial moment of realisation.  There are plenty of techniques and mechanisms in place for this to happen over and over again.  Yet once in a long while, an opportunity, a gap appears, a state of Grace in the silence of the Aeons is known, and in that moment everything ceases to be.  Singularity is experienced and allows the One to know the ultimate of all senses, a sense of wonder, of awe, of Love complete and whole. This Love devours the experiencer, rendering them into nothingness, they cease to be. Agape you might say.

~~~ *****~~~

Now Nature has no need to regard itself, nor regard another.  There is no need for reflection in Nature, for even the still water has no need to reflect anything.  That it does, is simply the perception of that which sees the reflection, nothing more, nothing less. It does not concern itself with what it is doing, nor how it is done, nor anything in fact. It’s really quite simple – it is neither too much nor too little in itself.

It takes a great deal of energy and effort to run resistance in the physical body.  Denial is a hungry master that eats the very flesh of desire and shits out waste that fouls the very environment of self. Allow Eros to roam freely through the body and the experiencer remembers that the physical form is Love manifested into itself. Without denial, there is no closing the door to Eros when he comes knocking and no waste is experienced. Recycling just became obsolete. No waste disposal. No recycling. No ‘wasting’ energy, or time.  That’s already a huge load off isn’t it? Simply put, stopping the practise of resisting yourself is all that is required to be yourself.  Rather obvious eh?

What’s more (or rather, there isn’t actually more as everything is complete, there are many ways to see it) is that the experience of experiencing Eros consuming the body is to understand the paradox of being both form and formless as first One is this, and then One is that.  The very act of Eros is to Love the self into wholeness and then dissolve it once more, over and over again.  Defined and undefined.  Bounded and boundless. Manifest and un-manifest.

To the divided, Eros may seem selfish in its nature, yet it is also selfless when fully experienced, when not denied.  When denied it is petulant and needy, looking only for its own ‘needs’ to be met.  When whole, it is needless, it knows of no needs – the body has no needs when Eros is in residence.  Needs become a strange concept that the self has no need of and this is fucking good. Or good fucking. Or both actually.  This is one of the most delightful  things about the body – it is SO impolite, so rude!  You might say a person is in ‘rude health’ when Eros is in occupation.

~~~ ***** ~~~

Soul Love, altruistic in nature, reaches out and informs the other that they are not alone, that there is someone else to bear witness to the joy and pain of being soul resident in physical form, informed by Spirit and Matter.    For the soul knows such pain, such sorrow and grief at times when forgetfulness takes it far beyond the edges of reason into the abyss of deep despair.  Were it not for the other soul that comes forth and holds out his hand to his brother, then the soul would not see the other in form himself.  Compassion arises through empathy and understanding:

“Sister, where for art thou that I might feel your gentle gaze upon my soul, that which awakens the depth of Love within me and draws it forth to share with the world?”

“Sister of my Soul, look, here I Am, in everyone you meet!”

Eyes meeting Eyes is recognition in the moment as the unguarded gaze reveals self in other. (Eyes = I’s)    Recognition leads to cognition. ‘We’ are here together; two souls, two bodies, one in Spirit. Such joy in sharing, such wonders and delights does the soul get to experience!

“How may I serve thee?”  “How may I be served?” This is the nature of Soul Love.  It is that which bridges the rivers of life and death and goes beyond both.

~~~ ***** ~~~

We, are, here.  We are here to integrate and live through all three expressions of the one Source,  The three lenses of body, soul and spirit. Each may express their uniqueness through the lens of Self. Balance may not be imposed, yet without balance, each one is capable of tyranny, for truthfully, in the Light of the One Source, the Eye of the Eye, there is no balance. In other words, the perception, or belief, that one may outweigh the other is only a limited perception, and this will pass in time.  But in the mean-time (and it can feel quite mean and nasty at times too) each aspect is capable of tyranny because simply put, we must experience tyranny if we believe one can outweigh the other.  This is of course, a perfect method of realising this. Alongside each type of love, is the shadow which appears  when the focus of belief  is shone upon anything less than the whole self.  Shadow may appear as a high or a low. This is of course an illusion, however powerfully real it may seem in the moment, and it is good to remember that this too shall pass.  When all resistance ceases, there is nothing to stop the full flow of Source Self from its perfection and therefore the three types of love, or three lenses of body, soul and spirit, are as One.

©Lynn Paterson 2016

The Opportunity of Intensity

This is another message from The Beloved within.  It’s from a few years ago now but still feels relevant.  I hope it feeds some souls.  Blessings.

Hi….

Did you remember to breathe?  Are you breathing consciously now?

Whether our experience of intensity is great or small it matters not – intensity is there asking us to grow to include the current experience.  We are not our current experience but usually we believe we are.  It is a stage on the cycle of growth… once we see intensity as an opportunity for growth and expansion, the cycle will become a spiral of knowledge as perspective will have changed.

Breath is always the key to integrating in the moment ‘the overwhelm’ feeling  that experience becomes when we believe we are not big enough or not ‘something’ enough.  When we believe we are only this or that, rather than everything, then experience becomes intense because we perceive there to be a great enough difference between ‘this’ or ‘that’, or ‘self’ and ‘other’. This makes us feel even smaller and less than because we have perceived something as outside of ourselves. So often you hear people saying “this is greater than both of us”… this is a misunderstanding…there is nothing greater than me or you or us.  The ‘us’ is the remembering of who we truly are but the part of me that does not yet remember fully is now trying to cope with the expansion it is currently experiencing.

ALLOWING is necessary for this stage plus some breaking down of structures previously created, so you can grow to include this experience.

Intensity is not always noticed when there is a small difference between this or that. Becoming sensitive to the difference is the key, and that means getting used to intensity.

Cycles within cycles are always happening, allowing the expansion, integrating the new experience, creating new structures, re-defining picture of self, breaking down structures… etc. but these cycles are all happening at the same time. It’s not some neat pattern where we only get to see one part of the cycle happening at a time, there is always cycles within cycles happening all the time.

There is no perfect way to do relationship!  There is not an ideal way of being or doing.  Let go of the identification with your experience – it’s just experience and that is growth.  Allow this experience without having to change it or give it marks out of ten.  Give yourself space to integrate.  Give yourself permission to fall apart as your structures disintegrate yet again.  Enjoy the new structures of self-definition that occur to you as a result of your integration… this is called realisation… then allow the next experience without having to define is according to your new definition of yourself!!!

OF COURSE you will struggle with this as you are both human and divine and it is so easy to ‘lose’ yourself inbetween… but really the truth is not that you lose yourself, it’s that you have yet to know WHO YOU ARE. You are already ‘lost’ in Oneness or another way to say it is that on one level,  that you already know yourself to be everything.  You are here to individuate.  But how can God individuate without the cycles of growth?  How can we as God know ourselves to be THAT until we are THAT?  Only through KNOWING that experience is simply growth, and not who we are. When God (us) redefines herself she then KNOWS she is that, and that, and that over there too… and yet, not just that either because already the next cycle has overlapped the current one because God is always growing and experiencing something new.  There is always something new happening, change is always occurring and that doesn’t change 🙂

Relationship is there to help you define who you are, and who you are not. When you already have the innate ability to be at one with everything, then how would you manage to know this to be so unless something comes along to show you that?  Your gift is to share with others your ability of being at One with everything – it’s not a curse or a fault.

You describe your experience as an issue, yet you are truly seeing the other as an angel and this is accurate.  Yet you cannot see yourself as this! So it’s very one-sided – hence the purpose of relationship because without there being ‘an other’ it would be impossible to be see this.  This is just God having a new experience through the gift of relationship.

Yes… so it’s very one-sided when we meet an other because one hand we are reminded of our true nature, and yet as that happens, we do not allow ourselves to believe we are that also. WHY? Because we believe we are not good enough to be that due to shame. Everything after that comes from guilt of not being good enough, so we endlessly try to make up the deficit of not being good enough.  Unfortunately this is an endless game because there is no such thing as deficit (debt). Why? Because there is no-one else to be indebted to.

Call on Spirit to help you release all shame from your Being, from deep inside every single cell in your physical body. Give yourself the time to allow your experiences without having to decide what next to do.  With one hand, touch/grip the back of your head where it meets the neck (occiput) and with the other, the base of spine (coccyx) and command, “Activate and Integrate NOW”.  Say it 3 times.  This will help.  Do the same for perineum and crown.

Ultimately I would say that you think you are failing at this, yet you are aware of where you have elevated someone above you (made special) and so I must ask the question, how conscious is that?  Very.

And because you ‘see’, you will not be making the same ‘mistakes’ you made before; you have grown and are now coming from a difference perspective than before. The unsettledness is simply evidence of your growth stage. You will get to the stage of comfort when you redefine yourself, but that too will not last.  We do not like the integration part of the process (the magnetic phase) because that part is feminine and we have decided as a collective not to accept the feminine.

You will never make safe the growth process, and if you did, it would not be growth. You will never manage to restrict relationship even if you were temporarily able to define it.  So what does doing it on a practical level actually mean?  Where have you become attached to your ideas of that?

Yes, yes, yes to intensity….Breathe and allow it to pass through you as if you are transparent, made of gauze… ripples moving through a beautiful lake, from the core of yourself out through your body and fields spherically.

 

Lynn’s observations: From my work in helping people to grow to include more pleasure, I see that intensity and our need to restrict and control it comes from fear of it – most people say NO to intensity which doesn’t stop the intensity of course because you cannot stop it.  So you still get intensity. Trying to slow it down, or divert it somehow doesn’t work either, so no matter what you ultimately do, you will grow through intensity whether you say yes or not to it, because it happens anyway!  That is the joke of free will.

Don’t forget to laugh at yourself too, and to admire and congratulate yourself too – like you were observing a child having experiences.