Full Circle

Today has been a strange kind of day. Somehow though I don’t know why, it feels like a full circle kind of day. Crows have been around, Oak trees have been in my awareness, water and the circle of life, of death have been there too…somehow they all connect and are showing me the mystery tantalisingly just at the edges of my consciousness.  An experience with exchanging energy with an oak tree brought me back to a primordial feeling of life. Back to the beginning. The flavour of it reminded of another such primordial beginning experience I’d had many years ago in Hawaii via the humpback whales.

WhaleEye9-JeanLuc
“the One eye, the One Love … Go to your True Nature” by Jean-Luc Bozzolli

“I was there in the beginning, dreaming the world into existence.”

Sometimes we have experiences ‘accidentally’ that are very similar in nature to those we might have ‘on purpose’ as in a vision quest.  I’m not really much of one for the on purpose or intentionally directed experiences as I find my mind gets so caught up in trying to make things happen and then of course it becomes too contrived.  It works better for me for things to happen ‘accidentally on purpose’.  In other words, not directed or intentioned by my conscious mind.

Sometimes the accident part is quite literal as in the time I was swimming with wild spinner dolphins in Hawaii early one morning in Kealakekua Bay on the Big Island.  The beach there has big rounded rocks on the shore line and often there are considerable waves hitting the shore making it difficult to get in and out, especially with flippers and snorkel gear on. That morning I was swimming for a long time and when we eventually headed back to shore I was tired and hungry, and a little shaky from the interactions with the dolphins. With dolphins it’s a holistic experience; it hits on all levels and I wasn’t just tired physically but emotionally, spiritually and mentally affected too. There’s a tendency to overdo things because the experience is so beautiful, you keep wanting another encounter. It was time though to leave, we were hungry and thirsty and the dolphin action was quietening down.

I swan to the shoreline and was concerned to see considerable wave action now. My partner managed to get out but I could see he hurt himself a little on the slippery rocks. I didn’t manage so well and got tossed about, struggled and got pretty beaten up on the rocks in the process. Thank goodness they were rounded rocks not jaggy but even so I was aware of cuts and bruises as I stood shaking and in shock on the shore. My partner hadn’t noticed and had headed back to the where the car was parked. By the time I hobbled over I was well and truly in a shocked state. It had been a brutal experience and I had been scared to my core, old memories of near drowning incidents still with me from my earlier life. Both my legs were bruised and bleeding especially around the knees, fortunately nothing needing stitches though.

I was wrapped up in towels and put in the front passenger seat. My partner drove us to our usual breakfast stop but I couldn’t go in – I was already drifting in and out of an altered state of consciousness brought on by the shock and physical trauma. I needed to stay in the car and let myself go into the deep mind so he went in alone and I was grateful the car had stopped moving so I could let go and disappear into myself for a while.

It’s at this point in recounting the story that I hesitate and to date have not managed to get beyond. I guess the main reason is I fear being thought of as egotistical, big headed or that I think myself better than others. It’s also because I don’t want others to feel less than because they haven’t had such experiences…all arrogance of course but still….it’s challenging to write about such deeply mystical experiences as this was with the connotations it has. Ultimately I have got to get over myself and realise that such mystical experiences are there to show us who we are and that we are Source itself. Trust in the process. It’s no big deal and yet at the same time it is a big deal.

(Anyway… some hours later I return to writing the story)

Humpback whales swim, float into my awareness. I think it’s strange because I was swimming with dolphins and yet here are whales.  The thought passes.  .  I feel very safe in this altered reality with my physical body wet and salty from the swim, warm now wrapped up in towels, I am cocooned. The whales  do not speak yet I understand they are taking me somewhere and immediately I have this thought we go back in time, further and further back.  I realise the whales are not just guides but the star-gate and the journey itself. They are both the means of travel and the travel itself. And as I go back still further, time itself unwinds, stripping away from itself, spiralling through the cosmos and then there is awareness of no time. It is primordial, before time.

Now, I am there, in the beginning. I see the world before me, not as it is now but from before time began, not yet physically formed.   I am aware of myself then, as me yet not the personal ‘me’. I am part of a collective, with individual awareness, and all of all of us there in the beginning, dream time. The world was not yet formed, still gaseous at this stage, still in the process and yet to form into physical matter…this I knew. There were a definite number of us, not an infinite number.  I do not remember how many, only that I am one of the many, many of the one. I see-feel-sense-know in perfection how this could be so, many angels ‘flying’, circling around the world, dreaming it into existence. I was not physical either, none were physical beings. Collective yet with individual awareness.
Words form in me. “I was there in the beginning, dreaming the world into existence.”

In searching for an image, I came across the work of Jean-Luc Bozzoli whom I had met in Hawaii along with his partner Joan Ocean. In his artwork I find similarities to my experience in Hawaii and in the words also, so similar, a message here from the humpback whales which really is saying more or less the same thing as my experience:

“MESSAGE FROM THE WHALES: “You believed that you were localized in space and time. Now you understand that you are part of an Inter-flow. Inter-flow is a word that we whales have provided for you to describe the process as we whales know it. It is not a noun, but a verb ? everything is movement and we are also in movement. In us, singularity and plurality are one and the same. There is only the One, the ultimate reality, indwelling in all. The multiplicity you seem to experience in your lives is only a mirror of the One. All the beautiful variety and diversity, is united in an immense sophisticated singularity of such huge proportions that it is difficult for you to comprehend. ——- But we can see that the experiment of integration with you and others is working. The synergy between our minds is increasing.”

Almost 15 years on and I realise how many extreme and mystical experiences happen to me after I have been in water for prolonged periods.  Not just in water either, but about water, and how water shapes physical matter, how it is the well-spring within us, La Source, Mother.

©Lynn Paterson 2018

It brings me the greatest joy to share my experiences and even more joy to assist others in having experiences. I am available for you if you wish to make a connection with the humpbacks, dolphins, crow-people, trees, water, angels, Divine Mother …  I act like a bridge to connect your awareness with them. This can be simply a beautiful experience and it can also be of assistance in embodying your divine blueprint, helping you to the next stage of your life journey and opening new doorways in reality, in perception. Sessions can be in person, via video call or remotely in meditation. Please get in touch, many blessings.

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“Twelfth Night” ~ An Adevoiler Retreat ~ September 2018

 

Lynn Paterson and Peter Choi are delighted to invite you to join them on retreat in France from 3rd September 2018. This Adevoiler retreat is in 2 parts and both English and French will be spoken. You can choose the first week only or choose to join for the second week as well. Due to the close proximity to the event  we’re asking anyone interested to act very quickly.

The inspiration for this retreat is to invite others to join us in continuing our exploration based upon our experience last September, 2017. ​

From exploring the mysteries of the exterior to the mystery of the interior. Exploring the energy of source in nature and exploring the source in the feminine. Allowing Nature to inform us of deep truths about ourselves and the nature of our place, our role, in the world.

A series of exercises will be intermixed with a series of nature and site visits to progressively unveil what is the mystery … what is it that prevents us from seeing beyond the mystery?

In allowing the veil to lift, to dissolve, we allow ourselves to contact the reality through sensation, perception and illusions.  Part of the aim of the exploration is to re-connect our senses to our consciousness to explore pleasures that are sovereign. In this way we give ourselves permission to be and express ourselves.

Together the group will co-create and live a journey of unveiling to see beyond what we see and to touch beyond what we touch…

The first part is from 3-10 September 2018 and we will be re-tracing some of the steps of last year.  Here we will be focusing primarily on the cathedral sites of Chartres and Orleans, the famous gardens at Giverny (I was there in June this year and it’s fabulous.) We also plan to walk the labyrinth at Chartres – labyrinths have long been known as a mysterious gateway to finding deeper truths.

Location – Les Molieires, Île-de-France.  It’s less than an hour to Chartres form here. Accommodation is in shared rooms in a large private home on the edge of a village in the countryside. We anticipate the costs for the first part (3-10 Sept – 7 nights) to be in the region of £70 per night per person to include accommodation, meals and shared car hire. It will be a little less if all places are filled. Both English and French will be spoken and we have a translator. Meals will be simple and wholesome – preparation will be a shared endeavour.

In the second part 11-14 September, 2018, Peter and Lynn invite you to join us as we continue down into the Loire Valley. We will go deeper into the unveiling process with visits around the Loire Valley and giving more time to the indoor work. Visits we intend (not limited to) will include Chateau Chenonceau – a simply stunning chateau on water with its incredible gardens and huge trees it makes for fabulous outing…plus we hope to find ourselves another labyrinth! Also we will have time in nature and space to integrate.

Location – Loire Valley –  As the retreat is a co-creative endeavour we will only book accommodation once we know how many wish to join us. We estimate the costs for the second part (10-14 Sept – 4 nights) will be similar per night per person to the first week. – It’s not possible to attend only the second week.​

General Information

The Retreat is for a maximum of 12 participants and a minimum of 6, plus us two. Open to singles and couples. If you’re interested the first step is to complete the CONTACT FORM  telling us a little about you, adding any questions… and we’ll be in touch very soon.

We suggest reading through the series of articles FRANCE PILGRIMAGES Lynn has written following her experience in France last year as this will give much information through words, and much more through the spaces in-between. It’s a long read so please don’t wait till you’ve read it to book as time is passing quickly!

Please note: this is not a usual facilitator led group – Peter and Lynn are here to share their experiences and skills etc. in a group format because we love to share what fascinates, intrigues and helps us. There is no charge for facilitation; the cost of the retreat is to cover expenses only. The group we create together is to enhance personal sovereignty – not to diminish it. A big part of our aim is to allow personal space, personal expression, and personal experience for each individual – it is much more desirable for all to be themselves…this retreat will be providing space in which we can be ourselves as individuals and as a group. All participants must be comfortable with deeper work and capable of facing their inner issues in a mature and self-responsible manner.

Transport – flights etc. not included. Car hire is suggested on a shared or individual basis (we trust it to work out between the group as bookings progress).  Please ask about travel arrangements – we are delighted to help and don’t want the travel to be a problem for anyone who wants to join us.

Both English and French will be spoken and we have a translator. Meals will be simple and wholesome – preparation will be a shared endeavour. Restricted diets can be self-prepared.

Artwork credit: https://sigu.deviantart.com/art/The-King-of-Elfland-s-Daughter-332697611

The Angel of Sacred Breath

 

The Angel of Sacred Breath

I am the sacred breath
Allow me to breathe you
Feel me as a pulsation …
A sphere, pulsing from your heart as centre

I am that which cannot be contained
for I am the container also.
I am you, though you are not me

Ancient and Futuristic
Unconditionality of Being
Eternal Breath!

Breathe yourself into existence
Breathe yourself into Being
Breathe yourself into individuation
Breathe yourself into the past now
Breathe yourself into the future now
Breathe yourself into the present now
Breathe yourself into the internal now
Breathe yourself into the eternal now
Breathe yourself into the eternal internal NOW

Don’t wait, do it now…take one breath, and another…
Breathe yourself into Love
Breathe Love into yourself
Breathe Love
Love is the breath
Breathe Love into your life

The Harmonic motion
of potential function
is
your pulsing Heart sphere
of Love

©Lynn Paterson 2017

Please check out the awesome artwork by https://era-7s.deviantart.com/art/SUPERNOVA-II-648471475

A Meditation on the Heart

from my heart, to yours ♥

 

A MEDITATION ON THE HEART

I love you.

As I sit here, I feel my heart,

I feel my Being, with my heart at the centre of a sphere, emanating, sending out vibrations like radio waves from the centre, out from the sphere,

Omni directional, pulsating,

Touching everything in its path, which is everywhere, eventually,

Pulsations of light, of information, an invitation, that cannot be ignored,

All resistance is inevitably deemed … to dissolve

The signal of rembrance will be felt as consciousness acts upon itself, acts upon that of itself that is not yet remembered, that is not yet awake,

To say that this would be completely and utterly unstoppable barely touches the truth of it,

For it is actually impossible to explain, for the mind is entrenched in separation identity, so it cannot conceive, it cannot perceive, of there just being ONE.

© Lynn Paterson – February 2018

The Lost Dreams

Alone, walking on the beach.

No, not alone but with thoughts and feeling of loss, sadness and grief of that which has been lost, or not accomplished. Taking a breath, letting it go. Allowing the next breath to come to me; to welcome it, to receive it fully, without effort.

In a dream of fluid reality, my thoughts swim out to the sea, emptying the mind with each departing wave.  Incoming, the waves gently arrive on the shore.  As with the breath, there is always something coming and going…

Then, a new, old wave, intones in this rarely empty mind: ‘Oh broken spirits of yesteryear, come unto me and I shall make you whole again.’

Looking down, I noticed a small silver fish; it was swimming towards the sand rocks, determined and vigorous in its course.

“How shall I see thee?” I asked.

“You shall see me where and when thee needs to for it is thee that is the Source of all things – thou doesn’t knoweth this yet as Truth… until then you must look to find the infinite within the finite as that is where the mind blips out of existence and no-thing can hide the Truth of Love.”

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… A dog barked in the distance, a reminder to be doggedly determined.  Not to give up but to continue as a barking dog does, not exactly knowing what is happening but following some inner prompt of a disturbance that needs attention.  Attention, attention, the dog barks – pay attention!

 

Photo0344

©Lynn Paterson 2016

There’s a whole in my bucket…

Rumi observes…

“There is a fountain inside you. Don’t walk around with an empty bucket.”

Truth expressed beautifully.

Yet I notice that we don’t actually walk around with an empty bucket, for that is far too painful for most people to do.  In fact, we so hate that feeling of emptiness we will do anything to avoid it.  We find anything and everything to fill ourselves up with – and if we can’t find something that works, we will invent it!  How creative we are at a-void-dance!

Addictions are birthed from this compulsion to fill ourselves up, to avoid feeling the void we believe is within us.  Yet rarely does it feel good for long; that portion of chips on the side used to fulfill us for far longer… that new phone should have made us feel much happier … now we are like spoiled children at Christmas or birthdays and our gratification is very short lived.

Gratification is not as gratifying as it used to be!

Life experience!
Life experience!

We have begun to realise that our buckets have a hole in them and no amount of effort to fill from outside will provide lasting fullness (fulfillment).  We are facing a hopeless situation as no matter how we try to fix things we find we are thwarted at every move.  Eventually we begin to understand that there is no real workable solution to this ‘problem’ – there’s a song that describes this well.

There’s a Hole in My Bucket” is a children’s song. The song is based on a dialogue about a leaky bucket between two characters, Henry and Liza. The song describes a deadlock situation: Henry has got a leaky bucket, and Liza tells him to repair it. But to fix the leaky bucket, he needs straw. To cut the straw, he needs a knife. To sharpen the knife, he needs to wet the sharpening stone. To wet the stone, he needs water. However, when Henry asks how to get the water, Liza’s answer is “in a bucket”. It is implied that only one bucket is available — the leaky one, which, if it could carry water, would not need repairing in the first place (from Wikipedia).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBHdZj-qkeQ

Sooner or later the pain of hopelessness will dawn upon us and the frustration of trying to fill the bucket will cause us to stop and take account of what is happening in our lives; we find ourselves in a place of not knowing, of surrender to the situation and circumstances of life that we are unable to change by our own mechanisms.  Without this pain we are rarely motivated to look inside… unless we feel it deeply we continue to look outside ourselves for salvation, be in relationship with another, food, more toys or a better place to live… etcetera, and  to the point of ad nauseum!   This is the point where we can choose though – we can choose to turn our gaze inwards and look within to fill the need for that gratification… it’s not a quick fix though – we won’t find any instant gratification because that is the realm of the subtle and imaginal so it will take some adjustment and process to appreciate the gifts here.  It’s like having tabasco chili sauce on all your food and then stopping and eating your food without it.  In the beginning you are not going to taste much and it will take a while for your taste buds to appreciate the natural flavour of food.  Or having fireworks in the sky every night and then one day the fireworks stop and we are left with nothing but natural sounds and sights.  It would feel strange and empty but sooner or later your ears and eyes would begin to notice things we couldn’t hear or see before and that increases day by day – we would soon notice that even those sounds and sights you thought were subtle and gross and you become aware of finer and finer sounds and experiences in the still quietude.

It’s the same when we turn our gaze away from the distractions.  It is a deep alchemical process of self-care; – a journey into the unknown, through which we begin to understand and know ourselves as our own savior.  Many times we will circle around and make this journey and each time we go deeper into ourselves we find our blocks and patterns repeating themselves and have to let go again and again, and usually this process is not pain-free but because the pain of resisting is now greater, we choose the sensible option and become sensitive to our self.  Interestingly, the Italian word for’ sensitive’ is ‘sensible’.  Language reveals so much if we just look at it from a slightly different slant.

unified field vortex

All this looking outside and looking inside can be exhausting!  We are swinging from one extreme to the other as balance will happen.  It can help to make the swings shorter so that the balancing act does not create so many wild roller coaster experiences. Developing a daily practice of taking time for relaxing, for being quiet, meditation or time alone is essential. Remember, meditation does not have to look like the traditional way of sitting down and trying to still the mind (something I’ve struggled with for years).  Meditation can be active and this would be far more effective than getting frustrated with failure at lotus position ‘I’m so peaceful’ type of thing when you clearly aren’t. Under the Tools/Resources section on this blog you’ll find an easy to follow method of meditation which I’ve developed called “Spherical Breathing” to assist in coming into centre and bringing about a more peaceful state of being. I’ve also made a short intro video which helps to demonstrate this technique and it’s suitable for anyone, even those with a very busy life: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VM_muCU-9c

Simple things work best and you are far more likely to continue with them if they are not onerous.  Taking 5 minutes to simply breathe and tune into your heart (Spirit) can be done anywhere, anytime, I find it helpful to do this when I get into my car and before driving off – even something so short will lead to a deeper and more peaceful existence.  Connecting, walking in nature, especially around plants and trees has far more benefit than most people would give credit for.  The effects are incremental and so if it doesn’t feel like you’re getting much benefit from it, try doing it for a few weeks and then stop and you will soon notice how less good you feel about yourself. 

Nature is one of the best ways to remind us of our nature.  Obvious really yet so many dismiss it because it doesn’t fill that void, it is too quiet and silent without enough distractions – maybe just plug the ears with music instead of feeling that emptiness!  If we can just bear the discomfort for long enough we will become so much better at being human. We need to stop trying to avoid the un-comfortableness and just do something for ourselves … even 5-10 minutes makes a huge difference.

It is not what you do or how good you are at doing it.  It is doing it that counts.

Seriously, a lot of folk get caught up with the perfection thing and give up in frustration because it’s not working the way they think it should.  But that’s a common mistake because it’s not what or how well you can do your meditation or relaxation or breath-work that’s important as the most powerful part of doing it is the pure intention for self-care and carrying through with the physical doing-ness of it.  That is by far the greatest part of any self-care practice.  Once you start to practice self-care, the Universe shows up and creates more self-care and love for you, so it doesn’t matter in the slightest how perfect you now are at your breath-work exercises!  No – the benefit is from your intention, and from your attention to whatever pulls you out of the present moment.  Within this is the key to understanding our true nature, to knowing oneself.

There is also a deep wisdom to understanding that we do not need to repair our bucket, that we do not even need to fill it because we are never empty, we do not have a bucket, nor are we something to be filled, for it would be closer to the truth to say that we are simultaneously both the container and the water that fills it. We are not here to go with the flow, but to BE the flow. To know ourselves as the flow itself.  There is not a moment when we are not the Source of All, so there cannot be a moment when we are empty of that – it just seems to be so sometimes. “There is a fountain inside of you” – well yes, because you are the fountain itself! Cease the activity of trying to fill up something that does not exist and you will know thyself to be the existence of All That Is. 

I think we are meant to have a hole – we are holy (whole) exactly as we are. 

As a dolphin once said to me “Turn yourself inside out Lynn”.  We could not do this if we were not a hole. We are designed to be constantly turning inside out and outside in.  There is nothing to fill. This is a source for contemplation, perhaps something to ponder on during a nice walk through the woods. 

Be in peace, be in Love. 

Blessings, Lynn.

A diagram of a tube torus – said to be the shape of consciousness itself. For more on that visit:

http://harmonicresolution.com/Toroidal%20Space.htm

Tube Torus
Tube Torus