I was reading through old journals last night from August 2016; a time which was one of the toughest periods in my life. I’ve not managed to read fully through any of it before and had forgotten the circumstances that led me to go outside in the rain at 3am one night. My poem “Soft Summer Rain” came from that night and I published that here on my blog in 2018. I’m sharing more of the circumstances around the poem as I understand it could be helpful to have more context around the poem as some might want to invite in something similar.
It was around the 16th or 17th of August, there was a full moon with an eclipse following it, said to be a potent time.
I’d awoken at 2am and was reading as I couldn’t get back to sleep. My mind was in overdrive and I was caught up in over thinking and strategizing. I caught myself working out an excuse for why I wasn’t going to keep an appointment that day – if I couldn’t sleep I would be too tired to attend. I was strategizing that my cancellation would be justified as she’d cancelled me at least 3 times in the past. I reckoned she owed me cancellations! Once I’d seen though this belief I realised how unhelpful it was, how stuck in the past I was and not just with this instance either! So much of my current unhappiness was rooted in the past, the distance past and also the recent past. I looked into my heart and invited in Spirit to help me see more clearly and to let go of the past:
Cast the Past.
Believe not in the past or future and you negate karma.
Get used to discomfort and it shall be your friend.
You are as bright as a million bright suns; there is no power this small world has over you!
See? The illusion, deception of comfort, is that it is also uncomfortable,
See this and you can dissolve opposites. Try it with anything.
Yearn for anything of the world and you are imprisoned by the world.
It was now 3am and it was raining softly, I could hear the gutters dripping. I got a quiet invitation to go outside and stand naked in the rain. I almost avoided it but listened again and I saw I would be cleansed, “they” said cleansed and freed of the past. I decided to do it despite the usual reluctance.
I went outside naked and stood in the quiet summer rain. I turned and faced each direction and again with my arms up to the sky and a surge of energy and aliveness, of spiritual activation, imbued me.
These are the words I wrote afterwards – it’s what forms the poem Soft Summer Rain – it’s how I experienced it in the moment:
Lay me bare Stripped back to the soul Let me hide nothing from your gaze So nothing may remain unseen, unloved,denied by me
I tremble in your Light, a Love I cannot fight, for this Love is not power, nor force – it is nothing, and I cannot fight nothing. Beloved, in your Love I Am remade in the eye of God In the Realm of the undenied is the real-eyes-d,.
Soft summer rain, soothing, calming; an invitation to dissolve the ties of the past. Naked in the night
I turn to face each direction, not once but twice A complete circle, each turn in time, and time itself dissolves. Rain feels like fire; a Baptism, alone.
Activation completed, I knew that:
Earth and Sky used me, imbued me to touch each other, and in so doing imbued me with fire and water, body birthed … body of Earth.
Activated now I reached for the karmic wheel to cut away the past and the future.
I intuitively felt to use my right arm like a sword and cut through the invisible ties and bindings, cords, ropes, chains that bound me to the past.
The work, the experience, was over and I went back inside, feeling so alive, so loved, and in awe of being human, in gratitude to being Lynn.
Though I cut away the past that night I still had a long way to go to come to terms and integrate the experiences that caused me so much pain in the period 2014-2016. It’s only now that I feel able to read through the journal of August 2016.
What does consciousness mean, what does it mean to be conscious of self? Do animals have a sense of self? Some certainly seem to have, and others seem to be developing a sense of self as a separate entity. Alongside this age old topic of contemplation of wonder, or fascination, is that of AI, artificial intelligence. Will AI ever develop a sense of itself? I can hardly think it wouldn’t as my understanding of Consciousness, is that there is that which remembers itself to be Consciousness and that which does not. That which remembers itself is always acting upon that which is does not. However, having said that, I am aware that my descriptive is linear, and Consciousness is not linear, nor can something really act upon itself, it just seems to do that at one level of reality.
It is like asking What is not of Love? There is this or that, and anything that I determine is not of Love is therefore cast out of what I consider Love to be. This is purely an individual experience, and I reject and judge anything I consider unworthy or unlovable. I have simply created a separation in my mind, for All is Love, and there is nothing outside of that. Even the most horrific thing is Love when seen from an inclusive perspective. That doesn’t mean I like it, it only means I’m not in denial of what it is. It’s only when I stop resisting something does it lose its reality. This is of course a huge topic and one which I’m only using here as a little introduction into sharing a very short story on the topic of what is Consciousness.
The Lady and The Orchids
Once upon a time, there was a lady, a very kind lady who was exceptionally sensitive to the intelligences of other beings such as faeries, plants, rocks, water and other spirits of nature and all the elemental beings. She has the gift of hearing and understanding them, and they understand her too.
She lived on an island in the Pacific, high up overlooking the sea. Her home was beautiful and she filled it with family treasures and those she collected on her travels. She also loved animals and plants and these were a source of much joy and fun for her – they were her company now as all of her natural human family had either passed or moved far away.
She travelled a great deal, feeling the calling of the spirits of nature and ancient stories enticing her over to the Celtic Lands such as Scotland. Sometimes she was away for months at a time in her studies and nature immersions. Her house needed to be looked after when she was away, animals and plants all needed taking care of. On shorter trips someone called in daily and longer ones she had someone stay there.
On shorter trips she would bring all her orchid plants into the kitchen for easy watering and care by a friend. She’d place them on a work surface on capillary matting which was watered and thus it required less attention. She was doing just that on one shorter holiday and had brought her beautiful orchids and placed them on the matting and was counting them to make sure she hadn’t forgotten any of them when her attention was caught by a strange, high pitched, very squeaky little sound. She listened.
It was calling to her, “Me too, me too…don’t forget me!” She was confused, she was certain she had all her orchids there and what’s more, she didn’t recognise this very strange voice which was not at all like the voice or sounds that she usually associated with the orchid plants.
Counting her plants she could find no one missing and still confused she went in search of the voice, honing in and allowing the sound to draw her towards it until she heard it quite clearly, very close to her and in her amazement, she saw not a real orchid at all, but an artificial one! Incredulous and not at all understanding how this could be, she talked with the voice and asked what it wanted. It was very simple; it wanted to go with the others! It didn’t want to be left alone and wanted only to be in company. As it told her this she remembered the reason she bought it was to keep another orchid company…this other orchid was in a place where orchids before had not really liked, so she got an artificial one rather than put a ‘live’ one there. It had worked quite well and the live orchid was in fact doing far better since she got the artificial one.
With a sense of wonder and awe, she spoke Love to the orchid and gently carried and placed it with the others on the capillary matting.
The End. And The Beginning.
Everything wants to be real and is doing the best it possibly can. Every thing is of the One and has potential for life, for what is there but life? How can not life come from life? Each thing that is designed has a blueprint, and that blueprint is devoted to ensuring it reach its potential. A margarine carton wants to be the best margarine carton it can be. Another term for ‘blueprint’ is ‘guardian angel’ or in the case of plants, ‘deva’. It is this intelligence that whispers ‘grow’ to the plant.
There is only one story in duality and everything tells it. Relax, breathe and be at peace for it cannot do anything BUT tell you! There is no need to search, nor to look for the truth as every thing you see, hear, touch, taste, smell and sense comes from the same story.
Symbols are not so much of a sign, nor more than you or I are a sign of something. No, we are a representation, or perhaps, a presentation is better…Yes, a presentation of our soul essence! Or a signature? Yes, also a signature in fact, our sign-nature…so yes, a sign, yet in a truer sense of the word sign, not as we commonly think of it.
And a symbol or synchronicity isn’t just a sign, it is that you are starting to see through the material world into the story beneath, you’re getting an understanding – or seeing that which stands-under. You are seeing more deeply. When this is seen it is possible to understand the repetitive patterns in life – and how one thing relates to another…
Thank you for joining me. What I share in this final part of the story is my mystical experience of how my physical journey on the road trip through France mirrored my metaphysical journey into my body and into the mystery of life. Church Temple to Body Temple. I’ve mentioned yoni mapping previously, and for now, it’s suffice to say that yoni mapping is far more than a method of helping us to heal sexual and physical limitation. It is in fact a way of exploring the entire universe.
By the time I got to Paris on Day 1, we still had a lot of undecideds, gaps, no accommodation booked and some other unknowns but few concerns. By the time we had completed the trip and were back in Paris it had all worked out beautifully, gifting us with an experience never to be forgotten, many insights and delights and the birth of something new to share. There were many extraordinary things that happened on the trip, numerous things that showed up as synchronicities, coincidences and graceful interventions. Themes emerged that linked the outer physical journey with an inner, insightful one – we were experiencing life as above, so below, and not as a concept but in a very literal, living, sense. Yet it wasn’t really until the trip was finished in a physical sense that we realised that certain themes were evident and that the physical, emotional and spiritual levels all weaved a tapestry of our story together. What is showed me beyond everything was that ‘As above, so below’ is what happens whether you know it or not. It’s not a choice. The only choice is whether you choose to work at seeing through the veil. Yet it wasn’t until the end of our trip that it became undeniably apparent how everything is the same within and without. One echoes the other.
Returning to Peter’s Apartment, Paliseau, Paris.
The experience I had at the end of the road trip was one of the most extraordinary things in my entire life. During a long massage from Peter which culminated in yoni touch and yoni mapping, I became very expansive; I ‘went out there’ far and wide, experiencing myself as the entire universe, a great expanse of outer space, the cosmos. This in itself is a phenomenal experience and because it wasn’t the first time I’d had it, I knew moments later when I felt a contraction, a lessening, a densification of the energy that something different was now happening. I felt a momentary sense of loss that I hadn’t managed to stay with the cosmic feeling. Choosing to stay present and with whatever was happening, I re-focussed on the yoni and the breath. I then realised that the densification of energy had in fact created a shape, like a container, and it was shaped as cathedral – I simultaneously felt this inside of me and out with me, encapsulating everything. It was an intriguing feeling that I found completely fascinating and so had no trouble staying completely present, open and curious. I wasn’t searching for explanations, I was simply trusting the process and still continuing in sensing the cathedral church like shape and feeling, which was of reverence, as if I were in a sacred space, a temple, the holy of holies. I felt both a personal and universal sense of awe; there was no seriousness, only sereneness, a feeling of super-light holiness.
A veil dissolved as I realised that the Mother Church was in fact the physical interpretation of the metaphysical energy of the feminine. It is the feminine in form, just as I am. I laughed aloud as I realised that every single person who went into the church to pray was in fact praying in a yoni! A revelation indeed which I felt as truth in the body; it was a complete somatic knowing revelation. Laughing again I was filled with a sense of incredulity that the truth is so utterly simple! I was telling Peter what I was experiencing and he, bless him, stayed so present and I could feel him enjoying my delight. But I wasn’t finished yet, oh no! It was like I was now able to sense through the concept of a material cathedral and see the energy underneath, that which it came from. It is that the solid material of the building is also simply a veil.
Another peal of laughter let loose as I realised that the Virgin Mary was in fact ‘symbolic’ of the female genitals – and when I say symbolic I do not mean that a symbol represents a concept, it is not a separate symbol representing something; I mean it IS the energy itself. Again I felt this as a knowing in my yoni and my entire being. (I had previously seen a good few articles and images detailing exactly this but I cannot tell you how vastly different it was to know this as a direct revelationary experience as opposed to intellectual knowing.)
I am the sacred breath
Allow me to breathe you
Feel me as a pulsation …
A sphere, pulsing from your heart as centre
I am that which cannot be contained
for I am the container also.
I am you, though you are not me
Ancient and Futuristic
Unconditionality of Being
Breathe yourself into existence
Breathe yourself into Being
Breathe yourself into individuation
Breathe yourself into the past now
Breathe yourself into the future now
Breathe yourself into the present now
Breathe yourself into the internal now
Breathe yourself into the eternal now
Breathe yourself into the eternal internal NOW
Don’t wait, do it now…take one breath, and another…
Breathe yourself into Love
Breathe Love into yourself
Love is the breath
Breathe Love into your life
The Harmonic motion
of potential function
your pulsing Heart sphere
I Am a Radiant Heart. So full of Love and delight. Bask in the presence of the One and All shall find their true Love. Sweetness comes to all that seek to know the truth of being fully human. Both divine and human. Man in divine truth is a beautiful creation that know no limits to its love.
Existence stills the mind for all eternity, coming unto self in the night of passion of the only one. No one need be passed by for in choosing love over all else, the righteous nature of self exceeds all else. There is nothing to add to this.
Be unto the self as a mother is to her new-born child. In every moment cherish the child of God that you are. Never let a day go by without offering Love to yourself. As you do this act of Grace you and all others are filled with Grace herself.
When your brothers and sisters come to you seeking that which they sense you have, it is because you are already being it. Hold back nothing now because there is nothing that can be taken which is your truth. Do not limit the Grace of Spirit which desires to move through you. It will be a balm unto the many as they seek their own true nature.
Fear not the wolves in the hearts of men for they know not what they do and ignorance is not the match of a Spirit infused soul. Your truth cannot be taken from you; it may only be given away. Fear not evil for it is only seeking to know itself. Be a light in the darkness of despair.
I am your mother, your sister, your lover in alms. Thank you for your devotion, I am always with you for we are one.
I’m organising a nature retreat in the Trossachs area in Scotland for Sept 29th – Oct 1st, 2017. For the past few days I’ve been immersed in writing and re-writing about it. It’s simple, yet it’s been a big deal for me to move into being okay with the simplicity of it. Workwise, I’ve gone through a huge transition since pulling back from the tantric work I was offering. This has not just been about trying to find the write words; it’s been about moving into a deeper part of myself, leaning into the Lynn-ness, integrating and embodying (interesting that the word ‘dying’ is within the word embodying) and becoming less of me in so many ways, and in the process, becoming more.
This is my first offering of this kind and it will launch a new endeavour I received a few months ago when meditating at Bracklin Falls in Callander. A new chapter of healing started after I returned from living in Ireland; a very deep process, and central to that was Nature and elemental beings. I started taking even more time in nature, alone, walking, sitting by waterfalls, communing with trees, taking in the beauty of nature, slowing down into stillness and allowing my mind and emotional space to be less complex, divesting myself of deeper and deeper layers of conditioning and fears. I felt called to do this, an essential thing my soul insisted upon. My experiences, and photographs, of nature changed, they became more alive, more multi-dimensional. I found a new term, multi-sensual, which describes perfectly the wholistic nature of life of experience and experiencer.
At Bracklinn Falls that day I received the first insights into a new endeavour, a body of work, part of which is offering retreats for groups of people and elementals to come together in magical, playful, creative collaboration with each other and the elemental beings. This information is part of the story of my whole life expression – I could say it’s the result of all the years of being interested in nature, metaphysics, mysticism, tantra etc etc, yet the truth is that I cannot separate things anymore into cause and effect, so I see the information that came through simply as another chapter in the story of my life expression.
Some years ago, I realised that we (elementals and humans) each hold the key to each other’s fulfilment of potential (growth) – this now became a reality for me. They are our missing piece as we are theirs. For us, they can help us in areas especially where we have most fear; death, sexuality, other realities/dimensions, duality, spirituality, self-sovereignty. And how we help them? Well, that an important thing and what we get to find out in due course will be enlightening. Their story is not separate from ours, just as on a coin, heads is not separate from tails.
Later on I received further information which expanded on the original vision and gave an overall plan for the ‘Body of Work’ which is to explore and develop an organic, multi-sensual, multi-dimensional connection and multi-media collaboration with Nature. In seeking a name, I later consulted my favourite Oak Tree (as you do) at the Doon Hill Fairy Walk in Aberfoyle. I was guided to another tree spirit who brought forward the name “Nature My Temple”.
It’s taken months to integrate these experiences and it’s been very challenging to write about it, and even more so to try to put into words the non-teaching, non-hierarchal nature of these interactions and in turn, the new retreats. How could I offer an event that wasn’t based on teaching or guidance or suggestive of some sort of shift in consciousness, some sort of ‘reward’ or some solution to a problem? How would that be appealing? I’ve been advised that people want to know what their investment will give them. Well, the truth is that I don’t know, and more so, that having an agenda cannot yield realisation. Over and over again I’ve caught myself trying to solve the problem of having an agenda on having no agenda. Lol. Thing is that any reason for doing something, adding any ‘because’ to anything will only push ‘First Cause’ away. Because, there is no ‘because’, there is only ’Be Cause’. (Lol. Did you see that? Using ‘because’ to talk about the untruth of the word?)
Sometimes, it is easier to say what somethign is not than to say what it is. I always found that to be the case when trying to describe what tantra is for instance. About this new work and the retreats/events, I can safely say that it is most definitely not about trying to fix, or solve a problem, or add to anything or anyone.
So, I have done my best to describe the event without adding agenda or raising expectations, though inevitably that will happen and divesting ourselves of such does take practise and persistence. I think though that the best way for me to say it is in the elementals own words:
“We come here and be. We open to stillness and spaciousness in space, thought and time. Join us here where realities intersect.”
Over many years now I’ve been having shamanic experiences in nature. It’s taken me to now to be ready to offer this as a Body of Work, Nature My Temple. I’ve written about some of my experiences over the years on this blog, and have added them to the NatureMyTemple category here in my blog so you can find them if you wish to know more about my nature orientated organic shamanic folding and unfolding journey.
Here are the details of the first event in the Trossachs, Sept 29th – Oct 1st. I’m calling it the first even as it was the first one to come to me, and even though I most likely will be going to The Cathar region in France and offering an event there in early September, this one still feels like it will be the first one. That’s the rather strange experience of living in a multi-dimensional reality. At least it is strange until I get used to it. The event is on Facebook and you may also contact me via email at NatureMyTemple@gmail.com.
Waterfalls and Tree Spirits
Sept 29th – Oct 1st, 2017, join Lynn for a retreat weekend that honours the sacredness of Nature and the sacredness of Self. In communion with Nature we may remember our own true nature, our own unique role, and how that contributes to the whole. This is a journey with many dimensions, many destinations and many diversions! The elemental beings are inviting us to ‘weave a living myth with nature’ – a creative collaboration with them and Mother Earth in conscious evolution.
In coming together in Nature we will weave this living story and our own myth will emerge from the symbols of individual experiences. For each person they will be both the whole story and part of the group story at the same time – as above, so below. Each may know themselves as a unique and essential part of the collective. The Elementals will help us to find and honour our own role and presence whilst at the same time, not putting any pressure of performance on ourselves.
“We come here and be. We open to stillness and spaciousness in space, thought and time. Join us here where realities intersect.”
The theme for this retreat is Waterfalls and Tree Spirits, and that in knowing ‘samenesses’ and ‘differences’ we may know, grow and appreciate more of life. The essence is yin; water, wood, inner space, emptiness, silence, stillness, spaciousness, softness, sharing. The intention is simplicity and that less is more. The outcome may be a gift for self, and/or something to share; a symbol, an insight, an image, a word, a story, a tale, a joke, a song, a movement, a drawing, a sign or silence. It is part of the vision that our sharing will be put online in a simple presentation format.* In this way, it will stay alive, weaving a living myth of our time together, and being the foundation of many to come, more multi-sensual retreats/presentations will join it and as each new person interacts with it, it will become more, as they will too. This is how Weaving a Living Myth works.
*Nature changes and adapts all of the time. It is not a given that sharings are put online, though it is part of the overall vision for NatureMyTemple to publish online. It’s my intention that each feels free to contribute without judgment or the need to validate one’s sharings, and the vision to share online forms a testimony to this. I will always seek agreement prior to publishing online. This could be anonymously if desired. Anything shared remains the property of the experiencer. My intention is to eventually use the ‘Prezi’ application, and I’d love to hear from anyone who has experience, or feels they can assist in working with this. This is a work in progress and will continue to develop in creative collaboration.
That to say the ordinary is exquisite is to detract from the perfection. For the label sticks to it, obscuring the truth. And where there is a label, there is somewhere where there is not.
And that somewhere would be less than. So truly, there are no adjectives required as I realise that the ordinary just IS.
It’s really very funny! I laugh and delight in the simplicity of this, shaking my head in wonder, laughing at the big joke that we create complexities over complexities in a vain effort to improve that which cannot be improved. Nothing can be improved; it’s just not possible to improve perfection just as it’s not possible to extend eternity or look beyond infinity.
Eventually it becomes impossible to not remember what One is; no matter which path is taken, the follower will always be taken to the end. And the end is always the end, no matter which path has been taken. There is no where else to go. Indeed there is no ‘where’ to go to, only the illusion of going, and only the illusion of a ‘where’.
The enigma of travel is such that it disrupts the mind by interfering with so called intelligence. Indeed there is no such thing as intelligence, as everything is just what it is, in that moment. No intelligence is actually required for something to appear to occur. There is no occurrence, there is no one to observe an occurrence, there is no ‘One’. For there to be a ‘One’ supposes that there be other than ‘one’, i.e., more than one, or many perhaps. Eventually ‘One’ will see that even ‘One’ does not exist other than as a concept. If there is no other than the ‘one’ then there is no need to call itself the ‘one’. Language itself is the evidence of intelligence interfering with reality. Intelligence interfering with reality is what creates the illusion of physical reality, and of change.
Many times, over and over again, with the appearance of change, is the story experienced. IF there is no agreement to resist, then the story reveals itself for it cannot do otherwise, for it is the story after all. How could it hide what it is? Only by agreement of forgetfulness, yet even then, the story is there, in plain sight, but with forgetfulness it appears to disappear, like a reset button is pressed just at the crucial moment of realisation. There are plenty of techniques and mechanisms in place for this to happen over and over again. Yet once in a long while, an opportunity, a gap appears, a state of Grace in the silence of the Aeons is known, and in that moment everything ceases to be. Singularity is experienced and allows the One to know the ultimate of all senses, a sense of wonder, of awe, of Love complete and whole. This Love devours the experiencer, rendering them into nothingness, they cease to be. Agape you might say.
Now Nature has no need to regard itself, nor regard another. There is no need for reflection in Nature, for even the still water has no need to reflect anything. That it does, is simply the perception of that which sees the reflection, nothing more, nothing less. It does not concern itself with what it is doing, nor how it is done, nor anything in fact. It’s really quite simple – it is neither too much nor too little in itself.
It takes a great deal of energy and effort to run resistance in the physical body. Denial is a hungry master that eats the very flesh of desire and shits out waste that fouls the very environment of self. Allow Eros to roam freely through the body and the experiencer remembers that the physical form is Love manifested into itself. Without denial, there is no closing the door to Eros when he comes knocking and no waste is experienced. Recycling just became obsolete. No waste disposal. No recycling. No ‘wasting’ energy, or time. That’s already a huge load off isn’t it? Simply put, stopping the practise of resisting yourself is all that is required to be yourself. Rather obvious eh?
What’s more (or rather, there isn’t actually more as everything is complete, there are many ways to see it) is that the experience of experiencing Eros consuming the body is to understand the paradox of being both form and formless as first One is this, and then One is that. The very act of Eros is to Love the self into wholeness and then dissolve it once more, over and over again. Defined and undefined. Bounded and boundless. Manifest and un-manifest.
To the divided, Eros may seem selfish in its nature, yet it is also selfless when fully experienced, when not denied. When denied it is petulant and needy, looking only for its own ‘needs’ to be met. When whole, it is needless, it knows of no needs – the body has no needs when Eros is in residence. Needs become a strange concept that the self has no need of and this is fucking good. Or good fucking. Or both actually. This is one of the most delightful things about the body – it is SO impolite, so rude! You might say a person is in ‘rude health’ when Eros is in occupation.
~~~ ***** ~~~
Soul Love, altruistic in nature, reaches out and informs the other that they are not alone, that there is someone else to bear witness to the joy and pain of being soul resident in physical form, informed by Spirit and Matter. For the soul knows such pain, such sorrow and grief at times when forgetfulness takes it far beyond the edges of reason into the abyss of deep despair. Were it not for the other soul that comes forth and holds out his hand to his brother, then the soul would not see the other in form himself. Compassion arises through empathy and understanding:
“Sister, where for art thou that I might feel your gentle gaze upon my soul, that which awakens the depth of Love within me and draws it forth to share with the world?”
“Sister of my Soul, look, here I Am, in everyone you meet!”
Eyes meeting Eyes is recognition in the moment as the unguarded gaze reveals self in other. (Eyes = I’s) Recognition leads to cognition. ‘We’ are here together; two souls, two bodies, one in Spirit. Such joy in sharing, such wonders and delights does the soul get to experience!
“How may I serve thee?” “How may I be served?” This is the nature of Soul Love. It is that which bridges the rivers of life and death and goes beyond both.
~~~ ***** ~~~
We, are, here. We are here to integrate and live through all three expressions of the one Source, The three lenses of body, soul and spirit. Each may express their uniqueness through the lens of Self. Balance may not be imposed, yet without balance, each one is capable of tyranny, for truthfully, in the Light of the One Source, the Eye of the Eye, there is no balance. In other words, the perception, or belief, that one may outweigh the other is only a limited perception, and this will pass in time. But in the mean-time (and it can feel quite mean and nasty at times too) each aspect is capable of tyranny because simply put, we must experience tyranny if we believe one can outweigh the other. This is of course, a perfect method of realising this. Alongside each type of love, is the shadow which appears when the focus of belief is shone upon anything less than the whole self. Shadow may appear as a high or a low. This is of course an illusion, however powerfully real it may seem in the moment, and it is good to remember that this too shall pass. When all resistance ceases, there is nothing to stop the full flow of Source Self from its perfection and therefore the three types of love, or three lenses of body, soul and spirit, are as One.
One day about 10 years ago, I was driving along in my car and an old familiar song came on the radio. It took me back years and in an instant I was once again 17 years of age.
I began to feel immersed in the reminiscing. You know that energy? A sweet sorrow – bitter/sweet… a very poignant feeling of wistfully wishing I was there again because it was so much better back then than it was now… ahh…yes how wonderful it all was then…
Or was it?
Was it really better back then than it was right now?
Because right now was pretty superb actually – I was just in the beginning of a fabulous new relationship, new house, and supremely happy, more so than any other time in my life.
Yet here I was wishing I was in another time and space, convinced by this reminiscing energy that I was better off then. So I asked myself in a no-nonsense way and realised that of course it wasn’t better then! It is just some misperception that makes the past seem better or preferable to the present. In fact I reckoned that in another few years I’d be doing exactly the same thing about this time in my life!
Such mind games!
Perhaps it is unreal yet it is also so believable and real in the moment it is happening. If we just take it a face value and not question, then we simply continue believing it. It stays real for us. So although the experience of reminiscing is not altogether unpleasant it does have a rather melancholy aspect to it and a strange addictive self-indulgent tendency most definitely leaning towards maudlin. Hmmm… I got more curious about the power of this energy and wondered how it worked. In fact, the speed at which my state of mind had changed once the song came on was remarkable and I began to question the reality of this experience we call reminiscing.
So I allowed myself to go back into the reminiscing feeling and very quickly I was feeling less content once more. Having done a fair bit of de-programming of cultural and societal beliefs already, I was equipped to deal with it. I questioned this energy outright: Is this Love? I asked myself. “NO” was the answer. “Well if it’s not Love, it’s not Real and I don’t need to believe it any longer. I let it go now”.
And, it left. Immediately and completely. 100% shift in experience – instantly I felt so much clearer with no energy of reminiscing to be found despite that the song was still playing.
I was left in no doubt that this experience we have of reminiscing is not helpful and is not the truth of who we are. It’s just another way to continue circulating discontent in our life.
This was a simple thing for me to do as I was well used to de-programming and was able to notice the shift in experience very quickly. The whole experience lasted less than the 31/2 minutes the song played. The key here is being aware of what is happening in one’s own experience and being in choice, not being in ignorance of what is going on and blindly accepting it.
Get in touch if you’d like to work personally with me on building up your tool kit to deal with this sort of stuff in the moment.