Dream Lover

Disco music, dim lighting, the thick cigarette smoke veiling and cocooning me. Sipping a ludicrously expensive gin and tonic I gaze across the nightclub floor at the deejay, willing him to look my way. I know I look gorgeous yet I’m terribly insecure. It works! He quickly comes over to me. I’m shocked and embarrassed; it happened too fast, I’m not ready! I brush him off by pretending he misread the situation. He shrugs and goes away. I’m still shocked that it worked, and so fast! This isn’t something I’ve tried before, tending instead to stay quiet, not flirt even, not wanting to be misread or considered a tease… so no games for me and instead wanting men to understand I’m not a threat, I’m reliable, trustworthy, kind. I feel guilty now – why did I do it? I didn’t even fancy him; I just wanted to prove I could.

Uncomfortable now, I turn away and find myself gazing into the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. My body responds before I’ve even seen his face. He’s young, about 22 I’d guess, with dark blond hair, and very beautiful.

We look, we dance, we smoke and struggle to communicate through our different languages. An hour passes and he wants to walk me back to my hotel, along the beach he says, very romantic under the moon with the sea. My body longing, my emotions surging, my mind says ‘oh right, yes sure, I know what you want and it’s not going to happen coz it will feel cheap, tacky – I will feel used.’ (I also thought about the discomfort of the sand…)

On the way home with the girls now and they tell I should have, thinking I’d said no because of being unfaithful to my boyfriend back home…they said they wouldn’t have told on me. That’s only part of it for me though. I feel a deep regret, and confusion.  Did I make the right decision or should I have taken the chance and gone along with him?  No, I know it would have cheapened, lessened the experience as I thought the physical reality rarely lived up to my imagined one.  With the benefit of hindsight and many years of life, I wonder if I’d have chosen differently had I had some experience of a satisfying, fulfilling sex-life, perhaps I might have not thought that the thought of sex is better than it would be in reality.

Back in the hotel in my rather horrible single bed in the room I am sharing with a girlfriend and her 2 young children in our dismal, creepy old hotel, head spinning from too much alcohol, ears ringing from overly loud music, mind buzzing, wondering if I will manage to fall asleep and if so, will I ever awaken again from the intensely psychic energies of this creepy old place!

I drift off whilst thinking of my Italian Adonis. A moment later I’m immediately awake. He’s stepping into the corridor leading to my room! It’s a long, narrow passage-way and he’s walking slowly towards my door…

My body is responding, fully sexually aroused in mere moments. I’m lying on my back, utterly still, silent, every inch, every part of me intensely focussed on his progress. My body is singing.

He gets closer and closer, my pleasure intensifies with every step he takes. I can barely breathe, all is still, there’s no sound, no space, no time. The air, thick with my expectancy and anticipation, holds me a willing prisoner in my cocoon of pleasure.

Outside my door now, his hand on the handle, turning it. The door opens… I orgasm, not a small orgasm but a huge mega, completely real orgasm like I’ve never orgasmed before. It doesn’t hit the roof; it goes right through it and out of the building, reverberating its celebration for miles into the night. No, not a small orgasm like all I’ve had before through self-stimulation of the clitoris, this was an orgasm to change my life. I never knew how BIG orgasm could be, my whole body involved, the energy massive and unrestricted and not just contained within my body.  And at exactly the same moment I orgasm, I awake, until then I did not know I was dreaming.

In the moment, I realise that I have no resistance, no fear, no self-inflicted limitations;  my body and energy field are as one and I experience nothing but wave upon wave of ecstatic pleasure and there’s nothing to stop it happening.  I sense it like a sphere of shimmering subtle energy emanating from my body and simultaneously returning to me. I sense how it interacts with what it touches.

I lay there afterwards, going over the experience and insights.

OMG that was amazing! Awesome!

Will I be able to do it again?

Now, that’s how sex SHOULD be.

Why can’t I do that when I’m with someone?

Why indeed. At the time I got many insights, not least was that this experience confirmed to me what I had long suspected: my inability to orgasm with a partner was purely psychological and there was nothing physically wrong with me.  As the years passed I also developed many other insights and this experience was fundamental to my own sexual healing journey and also the work with others for theirs.

Another valuable insight I got at the time was that I realised that what I’d thought of as good orgasms up till now were in fact miniscule and puny in comparison. They’d been limited to and caused through physical stimulation. This dream orgasm had been completely touch free. Somehow I knew that the possibilities and implications were huge! Though for some years all I saw was that the reality of sex with another was often much less than the anticipation of it. That fantasy was more enjoyable than fact. But what is real and what is not? Is it not the case that both fantasy and fact can both be extremely enjoyable experiences and why should we put one above the other? Couldn’t we just enjoy both, rather than polarize to one extreme or the other?

The ‘wet dream’ I’d had was not from contrived sexual fantasy; it had happened without my conscious mind choosing it, though I was consciously aware and chose to think about this dream lover before I went to sleep, I had not fantasized about having sex with him.

The way I experienced the ecstatic energy was vastly different in my body. The sensation and awareness of having no resistance to the orgasmic energy was in itself an ecstatic experience and the orgasm added to this. It could equally be the other way around. For me, this raises questions about the nature of energy, of physical being, of interaction. And no touch involved! Purely from the imaginal realms I’d had a highly energized and physical experience.  That alone was mind-blowing.

I was even less satisfied with partnered sex A.D. (After Dream) than I had B.D. It would be some 20 years before I was able to feel comfortable enough to relax and ‘achieve’ orgasm with a partner through intercourse. That’s quite sad of course, yet it was also this situation that contributed to my desire to help others with sexuality issues and also of course to continue exploring for myself too.  My reality at the time was that though I had a longing for more sexual satisfaction, it wasn’t really centre stage in my life and only once in while would it creep in from the edges of my mind.  I simply believed that this was just the way it was for me.  So I’d settle for less, unable to even consider talking to my partners or seeking help, hoping things would change on their own or I’d meet someone with whom everything would be perfect.  This fear of talking to another about sex also gave me good skills to make others feel comfortable talking to me about their sexual issues and to listen without judgment.

Nowadays I continue to develop myself and grow in spiritual awareness through exploring my sexuality and looking back on my younger self I feel deep compassion for her for all the confusion, suffering and misunderstanding she went through.

© Lynn Paterson 2018

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Karma

Should I Shouldn’t I?

Frozen. Unable to decide.

Unable to move.

Frozen in time, yet time is my enemy

Wasting time. Wasting life.

What if? What if I don’t’ choose the right thing?

What if I fail?

What if I’m wrong?

I pause in  my freeze

I breathe. Whose rules are they anyway?

There is no wrong, no right, there is just….what?

There is just experience, just experiences

Life, lived, I

The Divine shines through a unique lens,

It’s me, it’s only me.

Tea or coffee then?

Hmmm…

The door closes behind me as I walk away forever.

©Lynn Paterson 2015

Frequency, Dimensions and States of Being

I’d been reading the Cathar book We Are One Another by Arthur Guirdham and I’d been at it pretty intensely, getting drawn into the story for a couple of weeks, and it was also just after the first Waterfalls retreat. I’d been sharing with a friend about my France experiences, and there was a certain energy to that. That night I couldn’t sleep and was restless, some kundalini type orgasmic energy (mild) came up through me and that is slightly unusual for me these days. Then I started to get words through:

Kundalini can be utilised to raise vibration consciously. Once a certain vibration is reached, the information (truth) at that level is available to read, or is revealed. Like moving up and down the musical scales, different vibrational state can be accessed easily.  Movement between them (like an elevator) is easily achieved.  One floor is not necessarily better than another, once all are easily accessible by choice, one can move between at will and not get stuck in one place.  It’s the getting stuck and not realising you can move, that is suffering.  Once you realise you can move at will, suffering ceases, as does judgement and really, not floor is better or worse than another, they are just different, and preferences are fine to have.

Sexual ecstasy can be used in the same way, as can nature, like waterfalls, which can give access to the Nature Spirit dimension.  Getting stuck in lower states can be avoided, or if it happens, then there’s always someone there to remind you .  This is the benefit of having a group to consort with.

This movement describes resonance.

Food can be used – by omitting food of low vibration, one may access higher frequencies.  Vibration however will not be sustained at this level because there is separation/judgement of ‘lower’ food, or energies. Transcendence is not lifting above, not going through.  So, if there should be a time when vibration drops, and there will be because it’s not true higher vibe, but almost like artificially made higher state, then a crash will happen because there is still a frequency not embodied. By eating low/dense vibration food, and not judging it, one may bring consciousness to the lower states, thereby giving opportunity for growth and expansion to that state.  Any judgement on anything will negate any chance that there is anything in that structure that may be utilised. All states exist in all humans at all times.

The ‘key’ is remembering that one can travel or move between frequencies.

Travelling to other locations horizontally (physical travel to locations on the planet) gives access to information and inter-action there too.  Embodiment is helped by massage.  Once one person accesses a frequency and embodies it, it is available to all at that level.

Penetration of Matter by Spirit. It’s about matching frequency.

You can travel ahead but you must circle around and collect the strays, the laggers-on and help them if you are one who can bridge the gap by having one foot in high and the other in low.  Function – ascension.

I realised that though food was mentioned, this was but one example of how we may judge activities or organisations, such as the banking and financial sector, or government etc.  Name your favourite dislike!  It was also understood that making anything a villain, or hero, would inevitably lead to it becoming the other.  Don’t take sides – build a bridge between them instead.

This is a time for collaboration. That the Cathars upheld each other comes across very clearly in that book, they looked out for each other and lifted each other when one was hurting, wounded, in pain.  This is something we can do for each other, just by listening, chatting, being kind – it’s easy to help another like this and one feels lifted by the experience of doing so.  If I am feeling low, then I must learn to reach out and let my dear ones know – and vice-versa.  It doesn’t hurt or deplete me to allow love to flow through me if a dear one is feeling low.  The key is the knowledge and awareness that it is possible to move between states of consciousness and that one is not ‘fixed’ in one place…this is also important when it comes to listening to a dear one in pain – they do not need to be fixed.

Blessings

Lynn

©Lynn Paterson October 2017

Sovereign Yew

“Till the wind shake a thousand whispers from the yew” – T.S. Eliot

It’s been just over three years since the yew incident in Devon which forms the main part for this blog, I’ve only recently felt to write about it. Before now, I never really seriously thought to put it into the written word and now that I have, I’ve really struggled in writing about it and it’s testing me in many ways.

Days of starting and not getting anywhere, going off on tangents and realising that they’re not tangents and unable to cope with trying to get a very large map into a readable format.  There are layers of meanings within meanings and always there is a deeper level of understanding to drop into.  But how does one paint the whole universe? By realising that one cannot not paint the whole universe in the first stroke? At least not unless one trusts that in every word, in every space, in what is said, and not said, is like a hologram that contains the whole. And by just being content with the content so far… and realising that sometimes the perfection of writing is that it is imperfect, and unfinished.

That hasn’t made it easier to write and I know now after struggling with it for weeks, that I am going through a deep initiation and learning as I write this piece. As I sit now writing this bit, I have just experienced a small panic attack and an intense urge to get up and do something else, anything to distract myself. I become quite agitated and get adrenaline rushes and hot flushes. I don’t know whether this is just about writing this particular piece or writing in general. Probably the two are not separate. I can only manage to write a few words, and a sentence or two takes more than 30 minutes! I think it’s partly because of the difficulties in either talking or writing without using a linear cause and effect model. I must write a poem about the experience of trying to write this stuff 😀 Certainly it would help if I could develop more of a sense of humour about it all – probably a good time for some laughter yoga! In writing this piece, I can actually see myself playing out on the micro scale the macrocosm of my life habits – the distraction, the focus on the little details like spelling, the seeming inability to trust the process, the constant allowing of interference, lack of focus, distraction by shiny things… the list goes on …and I’m betting all that sounds very familiar to a lot of people.

I suspect that this is just the beginning, and that I will be writing about this and in general from now on.  One of the incredibly difficulties I find in writing is in trying to describe things from an holistic experience, rather than cause and effect, or storytelling in a linear fashion. I don’t know where to start and how to describe all the various directions my experience takes me in. This is because that even if not at the time, I now experience life as simultaneous potential (resonance) and not just in terms of  cause and effect and a single forward moving timeline.  I mostly always write from my direct experiences and will sometimes include additional material to help to explain or expand my findings. Sometimes this acts like validation for me. Also, I write in this style to keep it as pure as possible, I do not wish to translate it into ‘givens’ or create more dogmas from my findings. The point of experience or the sharing of it, is not control and knowledge – it’s not so one can say, ‘well this is the truth, and now I’m happy because I know the unknowable’.

Additionally, and interestingly, there are  two very important things I’ve discovered during this process. 1) coffee is a shamanic plant medicine and can be engaged with as such. 2)My internal guidance telling me that ‘little and often’ is incredible wisdom for me, and not only does it work, it reveals so much more, and importantly, un-writes old unhelpful stuff and writes new neural pathways that have implications throughout my life. 3)I’ve forgotten what number 3 was.

Here goes:    Continue reading

Let It End

Woman, you bleed from a thousand cuts,

your life blood draining away.

Cease now this tragic waste, this martyr’s sacrifice,

come into yourself,

close all the doors,

save your wisdom, let it mature within.

Fear not, it will birth of itself and you will be re-born.

Wisdom is your child,

you’ve been lied to – this is not the way to heal!

Let it end here now,

do not carry this forward.

End this insanity now, let it not continue one moment longer.

This is what you came here to do,

to end this insanity, this pointless suffering,

it is not brave, it is not noble,

it is insane.

This insanity is not your design, not your truth.

Let it be done with now.

 

© Lynn Paterson 2016

Cry of the Wild

Some years ago I was interacting with an archangel called Ariel. These interactions took the form of both channelled sessions and more intimate personal interaction through the mind/heart. In the channelled sessions I got to exchange verbal communication which was wonderful, and dialoguing with an 11th dimensional entity was tremendously exciting to me, especially as I’d been fascinated with angelic consciousness for some years. Ariel was a fabulous teacher and a wonderful friend – I was profoundly moved each time we connected through the channel, who was Isaac George, my partner at the time. Thanks to Isaac and Ariel, I got to explore many metaphysical topics and matters of conscious evolution as well as very personal issues and healing too.

There was one session which included a conversation about the nature of consciousness, which was a common topic of ours. When talking of consciousness, what needs to be understood is that perspective changes everything and the nature of consciousness depends entirely on individual perspective and as such is not a static understanding, but a fluid, ever changing knowing, of understanding, and lack of understanding. However, that does not distract from the power of the moment in which I saw clearly for the first time how consciousness acts upon itself to ‘reunite’ itself.

As Ariel talked, I listened with my whole body, allowing the body and mind to soften, relax and open and did not attempt to interpret or analyse what I was hearing. (This is a method I recommend and continue to employ and share today.) What I saw was that consciousness is all that there is. There is consciousness that knows this, and there is consciousness that doesn’t remember this (yet). That which knows acts upon that which does not know. Or it could also be said that as we remember  and align with ourselves, everything re-constitutes itself to reflect/show that. Ariel explained “When you embody the Source consciousness with your particular faculties, you are in a position to demonstrate it. And when you are in a position to demonstrate it and you do that, everything around you re-constellates without you even thinking of doing that.” This is consciousness acting upon itself.

I saw completely without doubt or any possibility of failure, that consciousness will succeed in having its way, because there is nothing other than consciousness, and in truth there is no ‘way’ as such. There is no stopping consciousness. Indeed, even to use the word ‘stop’ infers it is possible to stop, and this is simply not the case. One might say consciousness is like the most virulent, unstoppable virus affecting everything in its path, with nothing escaping; but this still does not fully describe the truth, power and ‘isness’ of consciousness.’ It is all there is. There is no success or failure possible, everything just ‘is’.

This was a tremendously exciting vision of the nature of consciousness and it gave me incredible hope and trust in the world we live in. I came into the peace of knowing that there is really nothing that needs to be done. I knew it was simply a matter of time till consciousness ‘healed’ itself and that, whilst I may wish things to speed up and improve, I had to let all ideas of timing go. It was a process already under way and I was but a part of a great ocean and yet that ocean would not be the same without me. Session over, but still contemplating this revelation, I wandered out into the back garden and just stood in the beautiful evening sunshine in the midst of nature, in the quiet of the countryside near to Loch Lomond. A thought crossed my mind that as I must be patient, it was indeed the most idyllic location to be patient in and my heart opened more with the gratitude of being here, immersed in nature, and through that, connected with the world as a whole. I saw myself in future moments, coming out here again and again, standing in this beautiful place and just feeling the world soul, nature and the humans within it. In such timeless moments we become aware of the eternal nature of who we really are.

As I breathed and meditated with this, my mind opened to a question, “I wonder what how this transformation of consciousness will actually look like as it happens. How will things change?”

An image arose in my mind of women going out into their back yards, gardens, to small concrete or paved areas, out onto the back street, on the beach, in the woods, somewhere, anywhere, but standing out there and sounding their voice without inhibition. I saw ordinary women from all over the world doing this. Some were screaming, some howling, others crying, or shouting, or yelling, some were doing all of the above. Some of these women were shouting because they were happy, some were very sad and full of grief, others so angry and as mad as hell. There were anxious, fearful women and those who were joyful and ecstatic. There were those who were quietly, desperately depressed and hopeless. Many women were lonely and isolated. All ordinary, no matter who or what they were, and their ordinariness was remarkable; it did not matter who the woman was, or what she had or hadn’t done in the world, her voice was her voice, unique and welcome on Earth. They were just doing what all women may do naturally when not concerned with how it looks or whether they’ll be called unreasonable, hysterical or emotional – they were just being themselves. They were women who on one level or another, were awakening to the truth of their feelings; they were not thinking about their feelings, they were expressing them, in the moment.

What struck me as most remarkable was that each woman was simply just doing ‘her thing’ with no preconceived idea of whether it would change anything or indeed matter in any way at all. I saw thousands of women around the globe doing this, yet I saw no plan or coordinated event, no direction, no aim; in fact, nothing but the wild cry of woman. Every woman is whole and autonomous; a universe in herself, diverse, unique and at the same time part of a collective. I understood that the collective does not come first; the individual experience must come first, and from there a collective forms itself, naturally. We’ve had the collective ideal, ‘for the greatest good of all’ and it doesn’t work. Whilst there is a common situation, we cannot rely on current ideologies to ‘fix’ things because that is exactly what happens – they get ‘fixed’ in place and are unmovable, dead, devoid of life. Unity cannot be imposed upon self by some higher grand idealism – it must come as a side-effect of coming into wholeness on an individual basis. Truly there is no greater good for the whole if it compromises an individual’s sovereignty.

In this vison of transformation, individuation is where the power is, not on any belief of solidarity. That does not render solidarity as undesirable. All it means is that for there to be the realisation of full potential for humanity, sovereignty or autonomous self, oneself must come first and foremost. Why? Because the very act of each being themselves creates a whole, a harmony that is wild and free, not forced or contrived, borne of effort and trying to change something; neither was it derived from thoughts that ‘we should’ or ‘it ought to be this way or that’.

This is why the uncoordinated, unplanned, unrehearsed, combined voices of women, long unsung and longing to be heard, do in fact matter, and matter quite literally. For what I saw was these unrehearsed, spontaneous cries joined together through sympathetic vibrations, growing through resonances into powerful waves of sound that quite literally break up matter. They were turning into dust all that is not in harmony with nature; it reminded me of the old biblical story of the Walls of Jericho. I saw the old world quickly crumbling away and new harmonious buildings and infrastructure taking the place of that which is out of harmony. It happened very rapidly in my vision, like a movie on fast forward. I realised it would not really happen like that; it would more likely be a very gradual process and the power of the resonant waves of women would change the world.

It was staggering to see how potentially powerful our own sound is and that each one’s voice affects the whole. When we are spontaneous, free and unrehearsed, we are in the moment and there is no separation of self from experience. It is so powerful that, even without trying to change anything, everything will change, as we simply do what we’ve held back for centuries, let free our cry of the wild.

A final thought entered my mind: That which has been made, may be unmade.

Lynn Paterson 2016 ©

With thanks to Peter, a retired physicist friend of mine who helps me make sense of these experiences and put them into understandable concepts. Edited by Andrew Jurascheck

 

“Everything is determined, the beginning as well as the end, by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect as well as for the star. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.” ~ Albert Einstein

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Reminiscing…

One day about 10 years ago, I was driving along in my car and an old familiar song came on the radio.  It took me back years and in an instant I was once again 17 years of age.

I began to feel immersed in the reminiscing.  You know that energy? A sweet sorrow – bitter/sweet… a very poignant feeling of wistfully wishing I was there again because it was so much better back then than it was now… ahh…yes how wonderful it all was then…

Or was it?

Was it really better back then than it was right now?

Because right now was pretty superb actually – I was just in the beginning of a fabulous new relationship, new house, and supremely happy, more so than any other time in my life.

Yet here I was wishing I was in another time and space, convinced by this reminiscing energy that I was better off then.  So I asked myself in a no-nonsense way and realised that of course it wasn’t better then!  It is just some misperception that makes the past seem better or preferable to the present.  In fact I reckoned that in another few years I’d be doing exactly the same thing about this time in my life!

Such mind games!

Perhaps it is unreal yet it is also so believable and real in the moment it is happening. If we just take it a face value and not question, then we simply continue believing it. It stays real for us. So although the experience of reminiscing is not altogether unpleasant it does have a rather melancholy aspect to it and a strange addictive self-indulgent tendency most definitely leaning towards maudlin. Hmmm… I got more curious about the power of this energy and wondered how it worked. In fact, the speed at which my state of mind had changed once the song came on was remarkable and I began to question the reality of this experience we call reminiscing.

So I allowed myself to go back into the reminiscing feeling and very quickly I was feeling less content once more. Having done a fair bit of de-programming of cultural and societal beliefs already, I was equipped to deal with it.   I questioned this energy outright:  Is this Love?  I asked myself.  “NO” was the answer.  “Well if it’s not Love, it’s not Real and I don’t need to believe it any longer.  I let it go now”.

And, it left. Immediately and completely.  100% shift in experience – instantly I felt so much clearer with no energy of reminiscing to be found despite that the song was still playing.

I was left in no doubt that this experience we have of reminiscing is not helpful and is not the truth of who we are.  It’s just another way to continue circulating discontent in our life.

This was a simple thing for me to do as I was well used to de-programming and was able to notice the shift in experience very quickly. The whole experience lasted less than the 31/2 minutes the song played. The key here is being aware of what is happening in one’s own experience and being in choice, not being in ignorance of what is going on and blindly accepting it.

Get in touch if you’d like to work personally with me on building up your tool kit to deal with this sort of stuff in the moment.

©2016 Lynn Paterson

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Mind the Gap!

This is a realisation, and it’s a conversation I had with myself on 15 August 2015.  I’ve written it exactly as I experienced it and have ignored the impulse to make changes to make it make more ‘sense’.  It is as I heard and experienced it and in the moment it made perfect sense. Although I’ve used the term ‘you’ it is not directed at YOU, but a conversation with myself.  I added a bit of an explanation about the game being fun as I know my reaction can often be how is the game fun when there is so much suffering. Lynn

 

MIND THE GAP!

We are wave and particle ~ blinking in and out of existence, first one, then the other:

Blinking in and out of existence, forgetting I am one when I’m the other.  One moment I am this, and then in the next, I am that.  When I am this, I have forgotten I am that.  When I am that, I have forgotten I am this.  It is in the blink of the I (Aye) that forgetting happens – the gap between this and that.  The crack in the paving. Mind the gap.

Let me show you how to remember you are not one or the other; you are I and the other.

The journey into Solace (Soulace) begins by being willing to take the first step.  There is really only ever one step.  One step is all it ever takes.  If you truly believe you have taken more than one step, then there is something you have missed; you’ve either left it behind or sent it ahead of yourself, or shunted it to the side.  You’ve fallen out of step.  There is only one step – it is whole and complete in itself.

What happens when one is fully cognitive of and in each moment?  Well, then there is truly only one moment, over and over again.  Peace in fact. When one is not fully cognitive in the moment, the moment is fragmented, and one is in pieces, to the exact degree of not being fully cognitive.  The moment when you cannot be fully cognitive is going to have to be experienced ‘again’.

Existence and non-existence is simply about where we place focus. If we are able to focus on both this and that in the same moment, on both wave and particle, then the game of duality is up.

But it is such a delicious game! What fun! First I’m this, then I’m that!  How could this not be fun? Have I forgotten how to have fun?  Why am I trying to be one thing or the other?  Be both.  Be the cake, AND eat it too.*

Language is both the separator and that which it is separated from.

You are I, 1, and the other.

*In this world of great pain and suffering, which as an empathic person I feel very deeply, I was made very aware that having a sense of fun, taking oneself lightly and laughing often is indeed a great antidote to the terrible seriousness and suffering of the world.  It is not to be dismissed as either thoughtless, harsh, unkind nor flippant.  The forgetting of fun is indeed part of the root cause of the suffering.  Fun and kindness go hand in hand.  People who laugh have open hearts, especially those who are able to laugh for no reason at all.  Laughter builds bridges between one heart and another.  The message that was imparted to me left me in no doubt that the simple truth is that fun and laughter, a childlike innocence, is the key to self-realization and a joyful and very engaging life experience.  It what we were created for.

But Alan Watts says it much more succinctly!mind the gap3

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And now some random perspectives on that gap…

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mind the gap 1

The Wild Love of Spirit

~~~~ feel ~~~~

The wild oscillations occurring in my heart refuse to be tamed;

The Wild Love of Spirit ignites a flame that cannot be contained nor defined by intellect alone.

I soar with Spirit and scream with the Goddess.

My heart breaks open easily.

Tears fall freely as every moment brings me more Love, more compassion, more awareness.

I have tasted ecstasy and have known myself as Love too many times now to return to the limitations of the mind.

I have seen the face of the Beloved and will not settle for less.

Ecstasy Of St.Teresa - Staglieno Cemetery in Genoa, Italy

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Crisis

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He, who had done more than any human being to draw her out of the caves of her secret, folded life, now threw her down into deeper recesses of fear and doubt. The fall was greater than she had ever known, because she had ventured so far into emotion with him and had abandoned herself to it.―Anaïs Nin
It was one thing to be attacked by someone you hated, but this was something else. This was the kind of hurt that could only be inflicted by someone you loved, who you thought loved you. It was sort of like being stabbed from the inside out. —Ethan Wate, “Beautiful Darkness”
The highest, most decisive experience is to be alone with one’s own self. You must be alone to find out what supports you, when you find that you can not support yourself. Only this experience can give you an indestructible foundation. —C.G. Jung
A Dark Night is . . . a mental and emotional state of despair that arises when something is so painful that it blots out all other considerations and makes carrying on as usual out of the question. —Susan Piver

 

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I wrote this short poem last year, at one of the peaks of despair after my relationship broke up.  It yielded a massive break-through…though I had to go into the pain fully to experience it before it broke on the shores of truth.

CRISIS

The cry of darkness, the call of the wild, burning from my heart into yours. Shadows; dancing and chasing themselves into endless knots of stupidity in my mind. How can it be that I do not know?

Chasms open up into pain engulfing my very consciousness reminding me of my mortality and screaming like a banshee in a high wind I cry NO! there is no me that is threatened here.