Twin Flames 11:11

In the time of ages, space universal since the beginning of time – intertwined, intertwinned – never apart, never together…always apart, always together…

Magic runs through my veins,
Love is in my arteries,
Fear resides where yet I must visit,
Beloved! Take me upon thy wings of consciousness so that I may return to my heart home,
Believe in me,
Weave me into being,
Let us be as One,
Divine compliment,
My love,
Who am I to request such trust?
Put me to your test why don’t you?
In what forms shall I visit you?

~

I will overlight all those who come into your presence my Beloved,
Long have I dreamt of you as you have dreamt of me,
Parallel universes of experiences we have had,
Back to back,
Dreaming of each other as first thee and then me,
Never both in the same place and time,

Never meeting – always missing each other,
Is it possible to miss that which you never had?
Of course, for we are One,
I was always forgetting,
You were always forgiving.
Thank you my Love,
Make me whole – take me in and never let me go again,

Forgiveness means forgetting ends,
How may I serve thee Love?

~

“I am you and you are me and we are all together.”  I am the Walrus, The Beatles (Lennon/McCartney)

~

She said, “I saw 2 different viewpoints or experiences.  Was I having them both?  Yet I feel I am really HER, and HE is the other experiencing me, as HER.  Both having own experiences, yet twinned.  Like a spinning coin, head and tails.” Splice, braid, weave together…and,

She realises, “I am made whole unto myself; a woman in form, whole and complete.  Source in form, source incarnate. Walking on earth to carry full embodiment. It has come to pass. The journey is ended and yet it has just begun.”

 

© Lynn Paterson 2017

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Frequency, Dimensions and States of Being

I’d been reading the Cathar book We Are One Another by Arthur Guirdham and I’d been at it pretty intensely, getting drawn into the story for a couple of weeks, and it was also just after the first Waterfalls retreat. I’d been sharing with a friend about my France experiences, and there was a certain energy to that. That night I couldn’t sleep and was restless, some kundalini type orgasmic energy (mild) came up through me and that is slightly unusual for me these days. Then I started to get words through:

Kundalini can be utilised to raise vibration consciously. Once a certain vibration is reached, the information (truth) at that level is available to read, or is revealed. Like moving up and down the musical scales, different vibrational state can be accessed easily.  Movement between them (like an elevator) is easily achieved.  One floor is not necessarily better than another, once all are easily accessible by choice, one can move between at will and not get stuck in one place.  It’s the getting stuck and not realising you can move, that is suffering.  Once you realise you can move at will, suffering ceases, as does judgement and really, not floor is better or worse than another, they are just different, and preferences are fine to have.

Sexual ecstasy can be used in the same way, as can nature, like waterfalls, which can give access to the Nature Spirit dimension.  Getting stuck in lower states can be avoided, or if it happens, then there’s always someone there to remind you .  This is the benefit of having a group to consort with.

This movement describes resonance.

Food can be used – by omitting food of low vibration, one may access higher frequencies.  Vibration however will not be sustained at this level because there is separation/judgement of ‘lower’ food, or energies. Transcendence is not lifting above, not going through.  So, if there should be a time when vibration drops, and there will be because it’s not true higher vibe, but almost like artificially made higher state, then a crash will happen because there is still a frequency not embodied. By eating low/dense vibration food, and not judging it, one may bring consciousness to the lower states, thereby giving opportunity for growth and expansion to that state.  Any judgement on anything will negate any chance that there is anything in that structure that may be utilised. All states exist in all humans at all times.

The ‘key’ is remembering that one can travel or move between frequencies.

Travelling to other locations horizontally (physical travel to locations on the planet) gives access to information and inter-action there too.  Embodiment is helped by massage.  Once one person accesses a frequency and embodies it, it is available to all at that level.

Penetration of Matter by Spirit. It’s about matching frequency.

You can travel ahead but you must circle around and collect the strays, the laggers-on and help them if you are one who can bridge the gap by having one foot in high and the other in low.  Function – ascension.

I realised that though food was mentioned, this was but one example of how we may judge activities or organisations, such as the banking and financial sector, or government etc.  Name your favourite dislike!  It was also understood that making anything a villain, or hero, would inevitably lead to it becoming the other.  Don’t take sides – build a bridge between them instead.

This is a time for collaboration. That the Cathars upheld each other comes across very clearly in that book, they looked out for each other and lifted each other when one was hurting, wounded, in pain.  This is something we can do for each other, just by listening, chatting, being kind – it’s easy to help another like this and one feels lifted by the experience of doing so.  If I am feeling low, then I must learn to reach out and let my dear ones know – and vice-versa.  It doesn’t hurt or deplete me to allow love to flow through me if a dear one is feeling low.  The key is the knowledge and awareness that it is possible to move between states of consciousness and that one is not ‘fixed’ in one place…this is also important when it comes to listening to a dear one in pain – they do not need to be fixed.

Blessings

Lynn

©Lynn Paterson October 2017

France ~ Initiation (Part 1)

Earlier this year I was surprised to feel the inner calling to return to the south of France.  I’d thought I was finished with France. I was even more surprised to feel a connection again to Mary Magdalene as I was certain I’d left all that behind, never to be re-visited.  Then the Cathars popped in too and all sorts of resonant information started collating itself in my close connections, social media, inboxes and other such places. As I said, I was very surprised to find this connection alive again because as far as I was concerned, I’d seen through all of the illusion and had no desire to get back involved with any of it again. I’d visited the area about 10 years previously and also in 2014 with a group.  Though my time there in 2014 was incredibly awesome, there were other aspects that I’d come into realisation about afterwards that lead to me withdrawing energy from the stories and people of the area.  I remember that even in 2014 I was surprised to hear from Magdalene again, as I hadn’t been feeling much of a connection for some years.  Truly, it’s a living mystery how these things come about!

In late 2013, and early 2014, I’d had two ‘callings’ from Magdalene in connection with the south of France.  As it turns out, so had my friend Deborah.  She emailed me “Magdalene is calling me, fancy going to the south of France with me?”  Deborah and I had re-connected in 2014 in Malta/Gozo after several years of little contact between us – but one thing is for certain with Deborah and me, every time we met it was extremely activating for us both.

“Magdalene’s been calling me too, so yes!” I somewhat bemusedly found myself saying. We decided to organise a retreat and blend that with private time. I felt like it must be in September. We called our retreat “Initiation” and all I can say is, it certainly was! One major factor in our retreat was to leave space for the Unknown (Divine Mother )  to come in – I was very sure of this aspect though Deborah less so, she was always happy to trust my intuitive hits.  Here’s how we put it:

“Our theme for the weekend is “Initiation”. Our intention is to invite the serpent-light power of Kundalini to awaken. We will be the crucible for Gaia’s Fire and our instructor will be Gaia Herself. And this is the exploratory part… we don’t know precisely what She will bring forth!”

Mary Magdalene by Richard Stodart

Little did we know what this was setting off for us, and that our individual and joint stories would weave unexpected and unknown paths.  In fact, I wonder at my own inexperience looking back – boy have I had initiation after initiation since then!  I have also discovered since that our story wove with that of the Cathars as well as that of Mary Magdalene.  When we discovered that there was a Cathar cave experience that the Cathar Initiates took part in we decided we simply had to include the cave expedition which several retreat participants decided to join us in too.  Because of the turns my life took that summer, I never did blog about the retreat, sites and caves we experienced so I’ll be including that later on, but for now I’m skipping ahead to the story of the 2015 retreat.

After the incredible energy and love we had for the place in 2014, we were highly enthusiastic to make this a yearly event, so whilst in the area we started to plan our next retreat for a year later, in September 2015. We both felt we hadn’t had enough time in the region – there was so much we still wanted to see and also that we would like to come and stay for a few weeks to totally immerse ourselves in the energies and be able to relax and let go without having a short time frame and busy agenda. We provisionally booked a hotel for our retreat, and started taking notes of gites for monthly rental. When Deborah and I both got downloads about the theme for the retreat we set up a time to discuss our ideas via Skype, she was in the USA and I was living in Ireland at the time. Immediately we’d set up the arrangement to chat, I started experiencing intense emotional and physical sensations, going into trances easily and feeling altogether altered.  When we spoke, we both felt altered by each other’s words, and many truth bumps were felt.  We didn’t have the full content but we had the title and the focus.  – Initiation: The Sexual Mysteries of the Dark Goddess.  Obviously asking for trouble with a title like that?!  Yes. Whatever you offer, you must embody yourself, as I somewhat belatedly realised a year later.

The next evening I was sitting watching something on Netflix when I began to feel distinctly odd in a way I hadn’t experienced before; my head was swimming and I had the sensation of spiralling downwards. I was also feeling increasingly dizzy, like an extreme version of inner ear imbalance.  It got so bad I tried lying on the floor, which helped a little, but when I got up again, the dizziness became really bad again and I started to feel nauseous. I did all the asking inside and opened to receiving answers – nothing.  I began to get a bit worried for my safety, I was living alone and the houses next to me were not occupied at the time.  I decided to go to bed and hope it would pass by the morning. Bed didn’t improve matters, in fact it worsened and so I decided to address Spirit and demand that it stop and it did so quite quickly.  I was fairly impressed with myself, and somewhat relieved, yet also confused and curious as to what it was all about but I fell asleep anyway.  A couple of hours later I awoke with even more dizziness and this time I got up as I was unable to stop the nausea and I vomited.  Shaking, I got back into bed and lay there, still dizzy, and asked again what it was all about. This time I got a reply.

“I am the centre of the universe, all evolves around I Am.  Nothing exists in separation, yet separation is natural.”  Dark Goddess/Mother said.

“Why do I feel nausea when you are here?”

“Because you are trying to be separate from chaos, and chaos and order exist side by side, always.  Do you feel gravity and levity pulling you in opposite directions? That is the nausea effect – really it is not an opposition but an effect only of duality – only able to experience one at a time when both exist. Didn’t you ask about a book too? Yes, reach inside and take that, and the online course, group work and retreats/events, publications, talks, videos, public appearances and media. (These were things I had been asking Spirit about.)  Got to pierce the blackness with the Light of Consciousness, which will act upon the dark void to create matter out of matter.  Fall down, sucked down into the universal creation chamber.  The darkness is necessary so the eyes can see clearly, as in the cave.  Into the velvety darkness I take your hand.”

I could sense what She was telling me about manifestation – that if we desire something, it is ours, no doubt about that, and we must reach inside and just take it. Well, it was very clear in the moment, yet when I practised it; it wasn’t quite so easy…  And the reference to the cave was from the first Initiation retreat when we had the Cathar Initiation Caves experience in 2014, which I will write about later.

Afterward this experience with the Dark Mother I felt both elated and disappointed.  Elated at the incoming message and connection with Her, and disappointed I hadn’t known that I must just let go in the spiralling down into the dark of Her womb. I asked that I have another chance and let it go at that. Whatever my personal judgement of the experience was it was also very clear that I was highly activated in connection with the second retreat concept in the South of France and it was all in alignment with our theme and purpose and was building intensity on the 2014 experience.  Which made it all the more surprising when it all started to fall apart.

I remember we had been planning quite effectively, content and practicalities coming together quite nicely, albeit that it felt lacking somewhat in the surprise, joy and spontaneity of the 2014 retreat. We’d decided to offer a tele-summit series as part of the retreat package in order to help prepare participants in advance. It was also going to be available for those wishing only an armchair experience. This was going to take the form of six unrehearsed conversations/discussions between the two of us of – this was our best way of creating together – highly charged energy dynamics which usually yielded interesting content with powerful insights and ah-ha moments.  The theme was the same for the retreat  -Initiation: The Sexual Mysteries of the Dark Goddess and we would be exploring female icons, sexuality and the mysteries of Isis, The Black Madonna, Magdalene, Kali, Pele etc.  I did differ quite considerably from Deborah in this in so much as I had never felt much of a resonance with icons such as Isis and Kali and others, and indeed was fairly convinced they were limited concepts and I was unwilling to get sucked into the energy of them. I’d even backed off a bit from the Magdalene story, and was more focused on the Dark Mother as The Mystery. However, I was happy enough to talk about them, and bring forward my perspectives.

Taj (Deborah’s nickname) and I were due to have our first one in February. Two days before I’d arranged to visit someone to do an exchange of energetic clearing work.  During that meeting I brought up some issues I was experiencing, and it was put to me that I was holding onto a limiting belief, specifically a ‘Spirit program’ – the Magdalene/Jesus story … of the saviour/martyr and further, it was both the worst and the last one that one faced on the spiritual path, and as part of the control matrix, was well designed to trap ‘light-workers’.

I was stunned and shocked as I listened and it did indeed resonate with me, and yet I was unable to really take it in.  All I could think about was how much it had meant to me – how much of my past 10 or more years had been identified with this story.  Having never been religious, the Magdalene story had come into my life and played a huge part.  It was probably the only story I had not taken down, or had ripped apart.  I felt my sense of self diminishing – who was I now without this part of my life?  This was rather similar to what I experienced when my husband said he was leaving.  I was also devastated to think about what I would say to Taj!  How could I in all honestly, talk about all these goddesses who I believed were no more than spirit programs designed to ensnare in limited beliefs?  I was also experiencing a huge sense of relief and freedom at letting go of the program, yet incredibly concerned at what I would tell Taj!

The next day I spent hours trying to concoct a short email explaining what had happened.  I needn’t have bothered, or been concerned – it was totally all my stuff – Taj wrote back and said great, let’s go ahead anyway as we did say it was going to be real, and how more real can it get than this initiation for you?  It began to dawn on me about the power of calling our retreat Initiation…

To be continued.

Lynn and Taj ~ Happy memories of France in September, 2014. Rennes-Les-Bains at the Goddess Chair

Deadwood

Consciousness doesn’t leave you when you die. Consciousness cannot die. The physical form may cease to be as it is, yet even that is consciousness in another form, and it may change its form so dying is simply a rearrangement of consciousness, form-in-motion. In-form-motion. It is forming and unforming in every moment. Living in the physical is a choice in every moment: An “informed” choice. That we don’t see or know it this way is simply down to our beliefs. The dead wood is made of the same stuff as that which lives on it: consciousness. Consciousness is energy that is aware of itself. So how could the wood be dead? Only if we are unable to see what it is will it look either dead or alive. It is been eaten now by a bug, digested in the stomach… at what point does it become the bug?

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The Opportunity of Intensity

This is another message from The Beloved within.  It’s from a few years ago now but still feels relevant.  I hope it feeds some souls.  Blessings.

Hi….

Did you remember to breathe?  Are you breathing consciously now?

Whether our experience of intensity is great or small it matters not – intensity is there asking us to grow to include the current experience.  We are not our current experience but usually we believe we are.  It is a stage on the cycle of growth… once we see intensity as an opportunity for growth and expansion, the cycle will become a spiral of knowledge as perspective will have changed.

Breath is always the key to integrating in the moment ‘the overwhelm’ feeling  that experience becomes when we believe we are not big enough or not ‘something’ enough.  When we believe we are only this or that, rather than everything, then experience becomes intense because we perceive there to be a great enough difference between ‘this’ or ‘that’, or ‘self’ and ‘other’. This makes us feel even smaller and less than because we have perceived something as outside of ourselves. So often you hear people saying “this is greater than both of us”… this is a misunderstanding…there is nothing greater than me or you or us.  The ‘us’ is the remembering of who we truly are but the part of me that does not yet remember fully is now trying to cope with the expansion it is currently experiencing.

ALLOWING is necessary for this stage plus some breaking down of structures previously created, so you can grow to include this experience.

Intensity is not always noticed when there is a small difference between this or that. Becoming sensitive to the difference is the key, and that means getting used to intensity.

Cycles within cycles are always happening, allowing the expansion, integrating the new experience, creating new structures, re-defining picture of self, breaking down structures… etc. but these cycles are all happening at the same time. It’s not some neat pattern where we only get to see one part of the cycle happening at a time, there is always cycles within cycles happening all the time.

There is no perfect way to do relationship!  There is not an ideal way of being or doing.  Let go of the identification with your experience – it’s just experience and that is growth.  Allow this experience without having to change it or give it marks out of ten.  Give yourself space to integrate.  Give yourself permission to fall apart as your structures disintegrate yet again.  Enjoy the new structures of self-definition that occur to you as a result of your integration… this is called realisation… then allow the next experience without having to define is according to your new definition of yourself!!!

OF COURSE you will struggle with this as you are both human and divine and it is so easy to ‘lose’ yourself inbetween… but really the truth is not that you lose yourself, it’s that you have yet to know WHO YOU ARE. You are already ‘lost’ in Oneness or another way to say it is that on one level,  that you already know yourself to be everything.  You are here to individuate.  But how can God individuate without the cycles of growth?  How can we as God know ourselves to be THAT until we are THAT?  Only through KNOWING that experience is simply growth, and not who we are. When God (us) redefines herself she then KNOWS she is that, and that, and that over there too… and yet, not just that either because already the next cycle has overlapped the current one because God is always growing and experiencing something new.  There is always something new happening, change is always occurring and that doesn’t change 🙂

Relationship is there to help you define who you are, and who you are not. When you already have the innate ability to be at one with everything, then how would you manage to know this to be so unless something comes along to show you that?  Your gift is to share with others your ability of being at One with everything – it’s not a curse or a fault.

You describe your experience as an issue, yet you are truly seeing the other as an angel and this is accurate.  Yet you cannot see yourself as this! So it’s very one-sided – hence the purpose of relationship because without there being ‘an other’ it would be impossible to be see this.  This is just God having a new experience through the gift of relationship.

Yes… so it’s very one-sided when we meet an other because one hand we are reminded of our true nature, and yet as that happens, we do not allow ourselves to believe we are that also. WHY? Because we believe we are not good enough to be that due to shame. Everything after that comes from guilt of not being good enough, so we endlessly try to make up the deficit of not being good enough.  Unfortunately this is an endless game because there is no such thing as deficit (debt). Why? Because there is no-one else to be indebted to.

Call on Spirit to help you release all shame from your Being, from deep inside every single cell in your physical body. Give yourself the time to allow your experiences without having to decide what next to do.  With one hand, touch/grip the back of your head where it meets the neck (occiput) and with the other, the base of spine (coccyx) and command, “Activate and Integrate NOW”.  Say it 3 times.  This will help.  Do the same for perineum and crown.

Ultimately I would say that you think you are failing at this, yet you are aware of where you have elevated someone above you (made special) and so I must ask the question, how conscious is that?  Very.

And because you ‘see’, you will not be making the same ‘mistakes’ you made before; you have grown and are now coming from a difference perspective than before. The unsettledness is simply evidence of your growth stage. You will get to the stage of comfort when you redefine yourself, but that too will not last.  We do not like the integration part of the process (the magnetic phase) because that part is feminine and we have decided as a collective not to accept the feminine.

You will never make safe the growth process, and if you did, it would not be growth. You will never manage to restrict relationship even if you were temporarily able to define it.  So what does doing it on a practical level actually mean?  Where have you become attached to your ideas of that?

Yes, yes, yes to intensity….Breathe and allow it to pass through you as if you are transparent, made of gauze… ripples moving through a beautiful lake, from the core of yourself out through your body and fields spherically.

 

Lynn’s observations: From my work in helping people to grow to include more pleasure, I see that intensity and our need to restrict and control it comes from fear of it – most people say NO to intensity which doesn’t stop the intensity of course because you cannot stop it.  So you still get intensity. Trying to slow it down, or divert it somehow doesn’t work either, so no matter what you ultimately do, you will grow through intensity whether you say yes or not to it, because it happens anyway!  That is the joke of free will.

Don’t forget to laugh at yourself too, and to admire and congratulate yourself too – like you were observing a child having experiences.

Reminiscing…

One day about 10 years ago, I was driving along in my car and an old familiar song came on the radio.  It took me back years and in an instant I was once again 17 years of age.

I began to feel immersed in the reminiscing.  You know that energy? A sweet sorrow – bitter/sweet… a very poignant feeling of wistfully wishing I was there again because it was so much better back then than it was now… ahh…yes how wonderful it all was then…

Or was it?

Was it really better back then than it was right now?

Because right now was pretty superb actually – I was just in the beginning of a fabulous new relationship, new house, and supremely happy, more so than any other time in my life.

Yet here I was wishing I was in another time and space, convinced by this reminiscing energy that I was better off then.  So I asked myself in a no-nonsense way and realised that of course it wasn’t better then!  It is just some misperception that makes the past seem better or preferable to the present.  In fact I reckoned that in another few years I’d be doing exactly the same thing about this time in my life!

Such mind games!

Perhaps it is unreal yet it is also so believable and real in the moment it is happening. If we just take it a face value and not question, then we simply continue believing it. It stays real for us. So although the experience of reminiscing is not altogether unpleasant it does have a rather melancholy aspect to it and a strange addictive self-indulgent tendency most definitely leaning towards maudlin. Hmmm… I got more curious about the power of this energy and wondered how it worked. In fact, the speed at which my state of mind had changed once the song came on was remarkable and I began to question the reality of this experience we call reminiscing.

So I allowed myself to go back into the reminiscing feeling and very quickly I was feeling less content once more. Having done a fair bit of de-programming of cultural and societal beliefs already, I was equipped to deal with it.   I questioned this energy outright:  Is this Love?  I asked myself.  “NO” was the answer.  “Well if it’s not Love, it’s not Real and I don’t need to believe it any longer.  I let it go now”.

And, it left. Immediately and completely.  100% shift in experience – instantly I felt so much clearer with no energy of reminiscing to be found despite that the song was still playing.

I was left in no doubt that this experience we have of reminiscing is not helpful and is not the truth of who we are.  It’s just another way to continue circulating discontent in our life.

This was a simple thing for me to do as I was well used to de-programming and was able to notice the shift in experience very quickly. The whole experience lasted less than the 31/2 minutes the song played. The key here is being aware of what is happening in one’s own experience and being in choice, not being in ignorance of what is going on and blindly accepting it.

Get in touch if you’d like to work personally with me on building up your tool kit to deal with this sort of stuff in the moment.

©2016 Lynn Paterson

I-know-but-one-freedom-and-that-is-the-freedom-of-the-mind-Antoine-de-Saint-Exupery

 

The Wild Love of Spirit

~~~~ feel ~~~~

The wild oscillations occurring in my heart refuse to be tamed;

The Wild Love of Spirit ignites a flame that cannot be contained nor defined by intellect alone.

I soar with Spirit and scream with the Goddess.

My heart breaks open easily.

Tears fall freely as every moment brings me more Love, more compassion, more awareness.

I have tasted ecstasy and have known myself as Love too many times now to return to the limitations of the mind.

I have seen the face of the Beloved and will not settle for less.

Ecstasy Of St.Teresa - Staglieno Cemetery in Genoa, Italy

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