Why is self-care so difficult? Why is say, sitting in silent meditation for only half an hour each day so darned hard to do? I’m not talking about guided meditations, snoozes, setting a sacred space etc. I’m talking about just sitting there with no distractions whatsoever. So why is that so very hard to do?
Because it’s really listening to ourselves – in sitting in silence with nothing else to distract us, we have to see who we are; we have to come face to face with who we think we are. It is very difficult to be intimate with the self; we’ll do anything at all to avoid, to void the self, to distract us from the monster within or the terrible emptiness that we think is inside of us.
This negation of self, this mass belief of the ordinary not being good enough, has created a monster of consumption that is never going to be satisfied for it’s impossible to fill a void that is not actually there in the first place. It’s all a lie.
The ordinary is enough, and trying to add to or change perfection can only take us away from that.
When we look at all the lies that we manufacture to convince ourselves that what our beliefs are right and that we need to change, to add or alter ourselves, we can see that the products of those lies materialise.
You’re being sold your self-worth. Oh dear! Hence the endless consumerism or the infinite inventions of that which is supposed to make you feel whole and complete.
The ordinary is enough is a realisation that the ordinary is enough. But that claim, those words, that sentence, well, it doesn’t feel like enough does it?
And this can be applied to everything that is out there designed to change, improve, alter, whatever! It cannot be done. Change is not possible, only perspective can be changed. The more things change, the more things stay the same. That’s because you, they, me, everyone, is eternal and unmoving.That’s it. The key to discovering, to uncovering this truth, is to actually do the opposite of what we are all desperately trying to do – stop trying to change anything at all.Yes, one of the greatest lies of all time is that change is necessary, or even possible.It’s this belief that is the promise and driving force of all religion, including new age spirituality, and of course, one of the biggest money makers of all time.
“Be the change you want to see in the world”. This one had me in its thrall for quite some time till recently in fact, when I saw through the mistaken belief that change is actually possible.
The only thing we need to change, is to stop trying to change anything, especially ourselves. Only then will we be able to see that we are perfect exactly as we are. Though it does take some time for the layers of what we’ve tried to add to peel away. And it takes a lot of courage to face that which we’ve hidden from, to uncover the self-betrayal and self-abandonment and attempts to negate the self. However, when we’ve seen, and then become the Hidden Beloved, it’s worth it.
The realization may only happen in its own timing. Until then, it is inevitable that we will continue to look outside ourselves, to endlessly try to fill a bucket with a hole in it, and continue to fail to fill up from the outside.
Nothing more is needed.
Notes about “The ordinary is enough.” When I discovered this I wanted to explain it by saying how exquisite the ordinary was, but all that did was to start the re-layering process again. There’s no need to explain why the ordinary is enough, no need to find other words to describe the feeling that the ordinary is enough. It is simply what is left when effort is removed. The Peace of The Ordinary. The peace of Giving up Trying to Change or Fix IT. The Peace of trying to change yourself. There is no change possible – change is an illusion – it all stays the same no matter how much it ‘changes’. The lie is believing it can change. Action can only come from what has been done before. Right action comes from Being. You cannot change yourself. You can only change the way you see yourself.