The Hidden Beloved

Why is self-care so difficult? Why is say, sitting in silent meditation for only half an hour each day so darned hard to do? I’m not talking about guided meditations, snoozes, setting a sacred space etc. I’m talking about just sitting there with no distractions whatsoever. So why is that so very hard to do? Because it’s really listening to ourselves – in sitting in silence with nothing else to distract us, we have to see who we are; we have to come face to face with who we think we are. It is very difficult to be intimate with the self; we’ll do anything at all to avoid, to void the self, to distract us from the monster within or the terrible emptiness that we think is inside of us. This negation of self, this mass belief of the ordinary not being good enough, has created a monster of consumption that is never going to be satisfied for it’s impossible to fill a void that is not actually there in the first place. It’s all a lie. The ordinary is enough, and trying to add to or change perfection can only take us away from that.

When we look at all the lies that we manufacture to convince ourselves that what our beliefs are right and that we need to change, to add or alter ourselves, we can see that the products of those lies materialise. A particularly good example of this is the famous cosmetic company L’Oréal who manufacture products to improve women by making them more beautiful. Their famous tagline from the early 1970’s tells us to buy this or that product. Why? Because you’re worth it. If you were worth it, if you thought you were worth anything, you would know you didn’t need to buy anything to convince yourself that you’re worth it. You wouldn’t need to add anything to yourself. You just wouldn’t need to. So that is a lie, that advert, that belief, oh you’re worth it so therefore you should go off and buy something, it’s just another distraction – but it’s worse than that, it’s terribly harmful as it’s actually used something very close to the truth and twisted it just a little so it ends up being very difficult to see through this lie. It’s actually telling you you’re not good enough as you are whilst pretending to say that you are. Can you see how that works? That you’re worth improvement is to say you’re not good enough as you are.

You’re being sold your self-worth. Oh dear!

Yes, very dear, as in very expensive.

Truly the only worth that is really meant here is that you are worth it to them to sell to. And this can be applied to everything that is out there designed to change, improve, alter, whatever! It cannot be done. Change is not possible, only perspective can be changed. The more things change, the more things stay the same. That’s because you, they, me, everyone, is eternal and unmoving.

That’s it. The key to discovering, to uncovering this truth, is to actually do the opposite of what we are all desperately trying to do – stop trying to change anything at all.

Yes, one of the greatest lies of all time is that change is necessary, or even possible.

It’s this belief that is the promise and driving force of all religion, including new age spirituality, and of course, one of the biggest money makers of all time. “Be the change you want to see in the world”. This one had me in its thrall for quite some time till recently in fact, when I saw through the mistaken belief that change is actually possible. The only thing we need to change, is to stop trying to change anything, especially ourselves. Only then will we be able to see that we are perfect exactly as we are. Though it does take some time for the layers of what we’ve tried to add to peel away. And it takes a lot of courage to face that which we’ve hidden from, to uncover the self-betrayal and self-abandonment and attempts to negate the self. However, when we’ve seen, and then become the Hidden Beloved, it’s worth it.


Here’s some wordplay – let’s spell it out… make a spell of it.

Interesting to note that the original phrase was “Because I’m worth it” which changed apparently in 2012 to “Because you’re worth it”

From L’Oréal: “Because I’m Worth It was on message in 1973, and today we know that an astonishing 80% of women recognize and respond to this positive phrase and powerful sentiment. And what makes it truly beautiful is that “Because I’m Worth It” is translated into action every day by L’Oréal Paris – in its philanthropy, its products, and its thoughtful celebration of women. Because I’m Worth It®” has entered the language… and taken on a meaning well outside the stated intention.”

Origin of WORTH
Middle English, from Old English weorthan; akin to Old High Germanwerdan to become, Latin vertere to turn, Lithuanian versti to overturn, Sanskrit vartate he turns


1. equivalent in value to the sum or item specified.

2. sufficiently good, important, or interesting to be treated or regarded in the way specified.

Musing … The word L’Oreal might be interpreted as gold real – real gold.


My twist on the phrase:

Because I’m worth it.
I’m worth it.
I am worth.
I am it.
I Am
(oh, and so are you)


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